Playing Catch Up Part Deaux

Okay, so the show on Friday night was pretty awesome. Tim had one of his art students help with the lighting to transform Berry's sanctuary into a music venue for the evening. I had a pretty hard time taking photos with Cadence running around.

I enlisted my brother's help in keeping an eye on her, and Tom from church also said he'd look after her. Nevertheless, Cadence managed to run around like a little sprite during the shows, and I believe she was actually on stage at one point. Here are some of my favorite photos of Tim's set:

This was actually during sound check. This is Matthew on piano and Ethan on clay jug (he also plays violin, very well I might add). I like how Matt's looking over at Ethan, giving him the thumbs-up. He's actually holding a melodica, not a cordless phone. Similar, but not quite the same.

And this is Ryan "And-They-Will-Know-Him-By-The-Yellow-Knit-Hat" Hammer. I bet his lovely wife Janelle made that hat, which I have seldom seen Ryan without.

Matthew and Ethan's shadow. I love this photo for some reason.

I know the band's not totally in focus here, but hey, it's more about the perspective, okay?

The rest of the photos for Tim's set can be seen on my flickr here. Slideshow can be seen here.

In the middle of Tim's set, Ryan and Jan Hammer performed a couple songs they had written. It was very sweet, even though Ryan totally forgot the words to the second song (he wrote it a few hours before the show). One of the songs they performed, Goodnight Sunshine, can be heard on the Tales from Tuckaway Myspace page.

Ben and Bruno made it to the show by the latter half of Tim's set. They were driving from Grand Rapids, and probably hit some knarly traffic with all the crazy construction going on. I had never listened to their music before Friday night's show, and I admit that they were nothing like what I had expected. I don't know why I had any expectations of them at all, but for some reason I thought they'd be more emo and a bit on the loud side (compared to Tim Lowly's music, at least). I couldn't have been more wrong. One of my favorite experiences in life is to stumble upon a band that I'd never heard of previously but whose music just blows me away upon first listen. It's like finding a loose diamond while lounging on the beach, lazily combing your fingers through the sand. (More photos from Friday night's Ben and Bruno set here.)

Tim and the gang reciprocated Ben and Bruno's road trip by driving out to Grand Rapids to play a show with them on Saturday night. Cadence and I tagged along, and we made a minivacation of it. I don't want to go into all the details of the trip, so I'll just give you the photo highlights. All the photos can be seen on my flickr account here.

Driving for 3+ hours with a 2.5 year old can be taxing on one's sanity. We did see some interesting sights, though, like this tough-looking band of bikers. There are around a half dozen bikers behind this guy. If you look carefully, you can see his face in his mirror.

We stopped in Dutch Village in Holland, MI, which is considered Tulip City USA. The town was just starting their Tulip Festival, and sure enough, everywhere you looked, there were tulips.

Cadence had a blast, and no wonder. There were baby ducklings!

Goats!

Dancing!

Slides!

And her favorite, I believe, was the carousel. This was her first carousel ride, and she LOVED it!

There was also a ride that Cadence was thrilled to see cuz she was thinking it was the Most Ultimate Swingset Ever. Unfortunately, she was too little to ride.

So Daddy rode instead.

But Cadence enjoyed watching daddy flying by.

We had so much fun that it didn't matter that we had actually intended to go to Windmill Island, but never made it because the Yahoo Map directions suck big time.

We had just enough time to check into our hotel before we had to show up for a 5pm soundcheck at the church where the show was. It was a beautiful church, and I wish I'd taken more photos, but I was pretty busy chasing Cadence. I actually had technical difficulties with my memory card, and so I didn't get to take any photos of Tim Lowly's set. I deleted enough photos to be able to take a few shots of Ben and Bruno, though.

Ben (of Ben and Bruno) brought his wife, also named Sarah, and their 2 year old daughter Eleanor, so Cadence had a playmate for the evening. It turns out Sarah and I had a lot in common, such as carrying cameras, being on flickr, parenting philosophies, having charming and active toddlers who want to be with their dads especially when said dads happen to be performing on stage at the moment.

I didn't get to see much of the show, but I really enjoyed hanging out with Sarah and Eleanor and chasing Cadence. I did get a chance to take some photos of Ben and Bruno, which can be seen here.

On Sunday morning, we planned on relaxing at the hotel. Cadence decided the relaxing should begin at 6:30 am (5:30 Chicago time), so we ended up dragging ourselves down to our free kinda-hot breakfast by 7am. I'd been telling Cadence for a couple days that we would be going swimming in the pool, and she was excited (I think she thought there was gonna be fish involved).

When we actually got to the pool, however, Cadence refused to go in. She's a pretty cautious kid, and without any other little kids around to encourage her, there was no way she was gonna get in that water. Oh well.

After we checked out of the hotel, we met up for lunch with our friend Lori and her son Devin at the Grand Rapids Brewing Company. We had a very *cough* active *cough* lunch, thanks to our rambunctious youngsters. Cadence was having so much fun with Devin that she started crying when we had to go in separate cars to the Frederik Meijer Gardens and Sculpture Park. She quieted right down though once I got her to understand that we'd be meeting Devin at a big park where they could run around to their hearts' content.

The kids had a blast seeing butterflies, floating little boats on a miniature version of the Great Lakes, playing in a giant sandbox, climbing in the huge treehouse, looking in the log cabin, and even having a little tea party. All this with endless running and giggling interspersed throughout the outing. It's amazing how quickly kids become friends. All they require is someone who'll run and laugh with them.

It was so nice to actually spend time with Lori in Real Life. She and her husband Scott and Dev will be coming to Chicago in June, so I'm looking forward to seeing them again. Cadence cried when we had to go our separate ways, but we promised her she could have a tea party with Devin in a few weeks.

We headed home after the Gardens, and Cadence was asleep within a few minutes. We were pretty exhausted and could have used a nap, too. We wanted to stop and get some coffee, but since Cadence was asleep, we decided to just keep driving, and we didn't stop until we got home.

So there you have it, folks. Our mini-vacation in a nutshell. A very large, cavernous nutshell.

Best Shot(s) Monday--Playing Catch Up

I am so behind on posts around here, and with the new camera I've got so many new photos that I think I've buried myself real good this time. Anyhoo, I don't have much time so here are some photos from the past week that I really like. And a lot of them have nothing to do with Cadence! (Nothing personal, of course.)

I took this photo after running out to the lake to take photos of a pretty full moon. I threw out all the photos of the moon but got a drive-by of this sign. It's a coffeeshop/diner on Grandville, right by Metropolis.

This is at the Dutch Village in Holland, MI. I just love how Cadence is running away here. Try to imagine this with a high-C-two-octaves-above-middle-C squeal of a toddler as the soundtrack.

Also at the Dutch Village. Red wooden clogs. Need I say more? Funny thing is, I was wearing my red crocs when I took this photo. Of course, I wasn't thinking so I have no photographic evidence.

I hope Ted doesn't kill me for posting a photo with his chest hair, but I really liked this one. And I risked water damage on my brand new camera to get it (I was very, very careful). It is inspired by this much better photo of a much cuter subject (sorry, honey) by the talentedJeanette LeBlanc.

This was in our hotel room. There really was no view except of the Howard Johnson across the alley, but oh well. It's black and white cuz I couldn't figure out the color. I don't have Photoshop, ya know.

We had the pleasure of hanging out with Lori and her son Devin on Sunday. I think Cadence has finally found another toddler who can keep up with her. My favorite photo of Cadence this weekend was actually taken by Lori, which you can see over here on her flickr page.

See other folk's Best Shot Monday posts on Tracey's site.

Roadtrip!

We leave tomorrow (actually, today) morning bright and early for GRAND RAPIDS, MICHIGAN! Awwz yeah! Say yes to Michigan, baby! And we're staying in a hotel! With a pool! And a King Sized Bed! We're gonna see my friend Lori and her family!

We're going cuz the Tim Lowly band (for whom Ted drums) is playing a show w/ Ben and Bruno, who came all the way down to Chicago in Friday traffic to play a show w/ the Lowly band at our church tonight. The show was awesome. I was quite blown away by Ben and Bruno. Anyhoo, more on that later.

*Heart*strings

Today is the five-year anniversary of the day my dad died. Yesterday would have been his 69th birthday. We went to the cemetery with my mom and brother yesterday early evening. I hadn't been there in a long time. I understand that some people derive comfort or the fulfillment of some sense of obligation or duty by visiting their loved ones' gravesites. I used to think that I would too, but every time I would visit, all I felt was a big emptiness, so I stopped going except to accompany my mom on momentous occasions.

There is a part of me that is irreparably wounded due to the experience of watching my father die. In some ways, I've closed the door to that compartment of my heart that is made of a mangled, bloody mess. I don't talk about it to my mom or my brother or anyone else. I don't talk about it even to myself. And I'm okay with that for right now.

I happened to be driving behind this truck going down Devon Ave on Sunday afternoon. I've seen it parked in our neighborhood, and it always makes me mad, like what the f*ck do YOU care where I'd go if I were to die today? Can you do a scan of my soul and tell me whether I'd make the cut? I'd really like to write a letter to stick beneath the windshield wiper that says, 'I'M GOING TO DISNEYLAND, WHERE ELSE YOU MORON?!' It really annoys me when Christians use fear to coerce people into "saying the sinner's prayer."

Well, my dad DID die one night 5 years ago, so where did he go? To be with Jesus, I suppose, but WTF does that MEAN? I don't understand what Heaven is. I don't understand Eternity. I don't understand why every day I wake up and I still can't believe my dad's not alive. I still see him in my dreams a couple times a week, and he's so real that when I wake up to the reality that it was only a dream, it's like another little kick in the gut. Not quite the kick in the gut as when he REALLY died five years ago, but nevertheless, a little kick.

And yet, there is a part of me that can't help but believe that someday I will see my dad again. That someday, he will get to hold his granddaughter whom he's never met, whom he would have fallen totally head-over-heels in love with, more so than he ever had with me. I don't know how all that works out logistically; I mean, I would like Cadence to have a long and healthy life, so I don't know if she'd be a little girl in heaven or a grown-up version or what, and I'm starting to sound really crazy as I'm writing this, but it's my blog and I can be deranged if I want to, I guess.

Cadence *Hearts* Flannel Part Deaux

I was a bit rushed in yesterday's post, and I'd like to explain myself a little better. Ted and I had an eye-opening experience at a party a little over a month ago. It was a birthday party for Aunt Becki, Dave's fiancé. Most of the guests at the party were her classmates from grad school, so Cadence was the only kid. Everyone was super nice to her and kept saying over and over again just "how cute!" she was or "how beautiful!" or "how adorable!" It's not so much that we don't agree with those statements, but hearing it over and over again at that party made us wonder whether Cadence was internalizing this and if so, what effect that would have on her self-image and where she derives her sense of self-worth in the long run.

Ted shared with me his own experience of growing up and hearing over and over from his (mainly female) relatives that he was so handsome or so cute, and how that made him feel self-conscious and damaged his self-esteem. You would think that kids would like hearing that they're good-looking, but I think when that's ALL a kid hears, they may start questioning whether that's all they're good for, and I believe that Ted may have experienced that to a certain degree. Also, I think that the research on the negative effects of praise and rewards would back me up on this.

I don't think that it's wrong to dress up your kid in cute outfits or to enjoy hearing people compliment them on their looks. What I don't want to do, however, is to just sit on the sidelines and let Cadence be enticed by a society that places so much emphasis on external beauty with standards so brutal that the average jane can only get depressed after 5 minutes of thumbing through one issue of Seventeen. I don't want Cadence to grow up needing external praise from other people to feel good about herself. I don't want Cadence to be conditioned to value other people based on THEIR external appearances alone. Instead, my hope is that she will see the beauty in herself and in others in characteristics such as compassion, kindness, generosity, justice, courage, honesty, simplicity and humor, and that she will be motivated by an internal sense of what is right and good and just, and not be a slave to external praise or criticism.