Alright. Where Did I Leave Off?

Ah, yes. My cousin Inho was in town, and the cousins got together at his parents' place. His mom cooked a gourmet feast, and we stuffed ourselves silly. Inho comes to town about once a year, so it's a big deal. Cadence obviously had fun.

And here she is playing Uncle Inho's cello--upright bass style. I used to play the cello when I was in high school. It's something I'd like to do again someday. It's one of my favorite instruments, right there behind the melodica, banjo and accordian.

This is probably one of my favorite Cadence outfits. It's what Ted dressed her in on Friday. Those pants are around 6 inches too long (and probably 6 inches too wide too), and that's why she looks like a stackabones. Oh, and she actually ASKED me to take a picture of her picking her nose. She is obviously not embarrassed by it, although we're TRYING to get her to be a bit more private about it.

Friday night, Cadence and I went to a get-together at our friends Ryan and Jan's. Jan just got back from Portland, OR, where she was a Band Manager and counselor for Rock 'n' Roll Camp For Girls. We got to see a couple zines the girls had made, as well as photographic and video footage that Jan had taken. All I can say is, I'm definitely sending Cadence when she's old enough.

Saturday was our friend Mikey's big Graduation Garden Party. He recently finished Rolfing School in Boulder, CO, and is now back in the Chicago area.

Also gracing us with his presence at Mikey's party was Jozka in his mighty spiffy suit, all the way from Ann Arbor, MI. He brought the suit at my bequest so that I could have the pleasure of shooting photos like this one.

And this one...

And this one...

Plus I finally got to meet Leonard up close and in person. No, Leonard is not Jozka's twin. It's his mustache. What? You don't have a name for your mustache?

The prize for furthest travel to be at the party probably goes to Phil, who hitched a Craiglist ride at the last minute from Portland, OR. Yeah, he made that face right when I clicked the shutter. Impeccable timing, as always.

We had some kickass dueling gyile duets by Mikey and his friend Gina, accompanied by various people on the bell.

Even Cadence got to get a little gyil action in. She likes playing her little xylophone at home, so maybe she'll get into the bigger wooden pentatonic one when she's older.

So yeah, good times, good times. I was partied out by Sunday and skipped out on yet another party that evening at our friends Nathan & Bryn & Fischer's. Ted and Cadence went, though and stayed out past her bedtime. Of course, since I wasn't there, I have no photos to show for it. Well, at least I did some laundry, the dishes and vacuumed Cadence's room in anticipation of Uncle Erik's arrival Tuesday night.

Best Shot(s) Monday--The Father's Day Edition

Since yesterday was Father's Day, here is a photo of Cadence and her Daddy. This was taken at a Trader Joe's crew party where Ted had 4 kegs of his homebrew available for tasting.

He also had a keg of root beer available, which he brewed w/ Cadence's help just a week or so ago.

And this is the photo I used for yesterday's Shutter Sister's post in which I said some very nice things about Ted.

Boy. He never takes that hat off, does he?

Speaking of my Stay-At-Home-Daddy of a hubby, Ted and his gang of merry musicians (a.k.a. The Tim Lowly Ensemble) will be heading off on a 10-day tour of the Eastern States starting June 27th. So they rehearsed last night, on Father's Day, because they really need to I guess, and I'm ashamed to say that we didn't actually do anything special for Father's Day except go to church. I didn't even make him breakfast. In fact, he made ME a delicious breakfast that involved english muffins, cream cheese and wild salmon. And then I had the beginning of a migraine after church, so we all took a family nap until 3:30, and then I sent Ted out to eat a late lunch w/ his brother Dave at their favorite Indian restaurant Bhabi's Kitchen, which I'm not too fond of as Indian restaurants go. I guess that was a Father's Day break for Ted, being able to have grown-up brotherly conversation AND his favorite food. He sure deserves it.

So I had Cadence all to myself last night, and we took a nice long walk to a park and played until the sun went down.

You can see more folk's Best Shots on Tracey' Mother May I.

My Six Squared Birthday

That's right, folks. It's my six-squared birthday today. I'm well on my way towards the middle ages now. Let's just hope with the older will come the wiser.

I have no idea how to catch y'all up on this weekend. Saturday, Sunday and Monday were devoted to friends, food and frolicking. It was more than a birthday girl could ever ask for.

Our friends Sarah, Ben and Eleanor were in town from Grand Rapids this weekend, thereby creating the impetus for much of the fun. Ben is the Ben of Ribbons of Song and Ben and Bruno, two bands that The Tim Lowly Ensemble has played with on numerous occasions. Sarah is one of the coolest moms I know, and Eleanor is about as spunky and creative a kid as 3 year olds get.

We threw a Panini Party for folks who know Sarah & Ben on Saturday night. Cadence was SO excited about Eleanor coming over. All day Saturday she kept asking when Eleanor would get there. It was probably one of the few times when she couldn't wait for the sun to go down because that's when I told her we'd see Eleanor.

It was a great time just hanging out and eating yummy food (and drinking yummy framboise for me and homebrew for others). Cadence is quite fond of Sarah, and I just love this shot of them reading together.

Sunday evening, we hung out at a park before grabbing some awesome Thai food. The weather was gorgeous, and it was just perfect for a lazy Sunday late afternoon romp in the park.

Here's a pictobrowser of the rest of the photos from the evening. It was a total treat to be able to spend two evenings in a row w/ Sarah and Ben and Eleanor.

On Monday, my cousins came over to hang out. It wasn't officially a birthday celebration, although it was my cousin Kris's and my birthdays this week. We did have cake and ice cream, at Cadence's insistence.

Another reason for the get-together was that my cousin Ben and his wife Rachel and daughter Eden are moving to New Jersey next week. Baby Eden has been one of my favorite kids to photograph, and I will really miss them. She's just great in front of the camera, and it's been a total delight watching her get bigger and bigger.

Cadence missed her nap today, and by the time 6pm rolled around, she was looking pretty beat. Out of desperation, we gave her a piece of chocolate truffle to hopefully keep her awake for just a little bit longer.

And this is how I found her 5 minutes after the truffles. Apparently, our plan failed.

Other than the total meltdown she had when we tried to wake her from her slumber (we really are stupid sometimes), she has been so sweet to me this weekend, wishing me happy birthday numerous times and telling me she loves me and that I'm her favorite friend. She's the best birthday present I could ask for.

Love Thursday--My Two Lovey-Dovey Goofballs

It is a well-documented fact that I live with two goofballs. Like father, like daughter, I suppose. Something new that Cadence has been manifesting lately, however, is an more emotional attachment to her dad. Last night, Cadence was having some painful, er, poop issues, and Ted was out w/ his brother. Cadence started crying and asking for her dad. It wasn't an angry, demanding, loud tantrumy kind of cry. It was a rather quietly pleading and sad cry accentuated by her crocodile tears. I thought my heart would break. I called Ted so Cadence could talk to him on the phone, and I think she nearly broke HIS heart too.

You know, I look that top photo of these two, and my heart just stops, wondering where the time has gone. It seems like just yesterday, she was a little burrito lovingly and shyly cradled in Ted's strong arms. I knew she'd grow up fast, but these days, when I look at her running around in her big girl undies, with her long wavy hair, and her so much more grown up emotions, I am stricken with a mix of love, pride, nostalgia, joy and excitement with a twinge of fear and sadness...

Well, it's Love Thursday over on Shutter Sisters, so go check it out.

Love Thursday--Love Is Love Is Love (Part 2)

It's Love Thursday over on Shutter Sisters, so go check it out.

For my Love is Love is Love (Part 1) post, click here.

I had a long talk with my mother yesterday while she was over at our place. It probably was not the typical conversation you would expect between a daughter and her conservative evangelical Christian Korean mom. It had to do with her attitudes towards homosexuality. I think it was a mutually enlightening and shocking talk for the both of us. Shocking to her because she had no idea how strongly I felt about most churches' stance on and attitudes towards the LGBT community, and shocking to me because I had no idea how misinformed she was regarding homosexuality.

The reason I brought this topic up with her is that I've been wondering about the prevalence of Koreans coming out as LGBT in Korea and in the U.S., especially among the Korean Christian church subculture. While I do not make light of the persecution and discrimination faced by those who are LGBT in any culture, I can't help wonder about their experience in Korean culture because that is something I happen to be familiar with. Koreans are deeply ingrained in Confucianism, and reverence for elders and conformity to familial and society's expectations are deeply held values, while individuality is not. I know so many Koreans even here in the U.S. who repressed their artistic inclinations and dreams to become the doctors and lawyers and financial planners that their parents desired. I used to know a guy (Korean) whose parents threatened to commit double suicide at his wedding because he was marrying someone whose social class and educational background weren't good enough for them. And you thought those Korean soap operas were being melodramatic…

So my mom said that as far as she knew, people coming out openly as being LGBT was becoming more common in Korea, but that to her it was unheard of among Korean Christians in the U.S. That latter part is a bit dubious to me, and I would attribute it to either kids not telling their parents for fear of being disowned, of disappointing their parents, of rejection, etc. or to parents being too ashamed to talk about it and pretending it isn't true.

When I asked my mother point blank what she thought about the treatment of LGBT people by the church, she said it was something that she didn't feel the need to think about. The insinuation was that she didn't think it was that big of a deal, it didn't concern her, and she didn't feel like it was an issue deserving of her time and effort. I was flabbergasted. She was basically saying that she didn't care.

And I am afraid that she is not the only one amongst those deeply entrenched in the Christian subculture. Now I think I get it, how so many churches can stand by and do nothing while a significant segment of humanity is persecuted, harassed, discriminated against, and not afforded the basic right to be who they are—openly and without fear. It's because so many are misinformed, ignorant of facts, and too uncomfortable with the subject to realize that this is something they should care about.

Here is a list of a few things my mother was unaware of or misinformed about to give you an idea:

• Until recently, she didn't realize that being gay could be inborn. She thought it was deviant behavior born of deviant choices, and I'm pretty sure she would attribute it to demons. And while she now acknowledges that some people are born gay, she still thought this was the minority and that the vast majority of homosexuals could be "cured" through prayer and counseling if they REALLY wanted to change. She really believes that ex-gay ministries are successful.

• She let it slip that she believed AIDS to be a "gay" disease and in some way evidence that God condemns homosexuality.
  

• She thought homosexuality was just about physical sex. It didn't occur to her that homosexuals fall in love like heterosexuals do and that there's so much more to it than sex. I asked her if sex was the first and only thing on her mind when she had experienced falling in love or being attracted to someone, and she sort of got my point, but I could tell she still found it hard to believe that two people of the same sex could love each other the way heterosexuals do.

• She had no idea that there was even a debate on what the Bible actually says about homosexuality. This is a very common misconception. Something that doesn't really get discussed very often in fundamentalist or even Evangelical Christian churches is that the Bible WAS NOT WRITTEN IN ENGLISH!!!!!!! This may seem like an obvious thing, but when you're raised in the church, and that printed book so revered and idolized by everyone who has authority over you says that HOMOSEXUALS are going to hell, it doesn't occur to you that the word being translated as HOMOSEXUAL could mean something entirely different from the idea of a loving, committed relationship between two people of the same sex. There is, in fact, quite a bit of debate on what the Bible says about homosexuality (the very little it supposedly gets addressed at all), and I think that many, if not most, evangelicals assume that only liberal (and therefore unbiblical) Christians would go so far as to believe that the Bible does not condemn homosexuality as a sin.

And yet, I have hope. My mother didn't shut down the conversation, for one thing, and while she said she was shocked at my level of conviction, she did ask me for some books to help her better understand the issue. And while maybe she may not become the next Peggy Campolo (Tony Campolo's wife) of the Korean community, I can hope and pray that with a dispelling of myths and lies, and by hearing the stories of real people, that she will at least have more compassion for the LGBT community and have the courage to encourage those in her community and circle of relationships to do so as well.