Best Shot(s) Monday--Yet Another Adventure in Parenting

Some of you may be familiar with our struggles to get Cadence to use the potty. I was starting to think that there was something physically wrong with Cadence and that she was never ever going to get out of diapers, and I lost much sleep despairing over this issue.

I finally reached the end of my rope a couple weeks ago and started putting her in underwear inside her pants to see where that would lead. Well, after washing pee-soaked underwear and pants numerous times, I finally sat her in front of the TV on her potty and gave her as much watered-down juice as she wanted. When we had dinner, I sat her in her potty. I followed her around everywhere with that potty.

That method apparently worked, and in just a day, she was running to the potty on her own. She's gotten so good at it that she even pee-ed in the dark on Saturday night during the Lights Out for the Earth Hour.

It warms my heart so very much every time Cadence yells out "Mama! I made yellow! You have to see it!" And she takes her pee-filled potty to every visitor and insist that they look too. Our good friend (and new neighbor) Keom was over yesterday, and he didn't want to look at the pee, but I threatened him into compliance lest he hurt Cadence's feelings and throw a wrench in our potty progress so far.

So now, when we're at home, Cadence stays pantless in her underwear. She's still not pooping in the potty (except for once this past week), and I have no idea how we would get her to use the potty outside of home, but this is so much further ahead of where we were that I'm going to enjoy where we're at now. And I wouldn't have made it this far without the support of my mama friends Amy, Jenn and Sarah S-B. Thanks, ladies!

Go see more folk's Best Shot's on Tracey' Mother May I.

All the Small Things

Jen Lemen has a beautiful story and photo to share on Shutter Sisters, and so I thought I'd share a photo and story too.

I took the photo above at church on Easter Sunday. The woman you see sitting is Jan. She is the person who sits in the back of the sanctuary at her little table and hands out Sunday programs to latecomers (a category we fall into 90% of the time). She is there every Sunday, faithfully serving with a warm smile and kind, gentle eyes.

It may seem that what she does in the church is insignificant, but I know that is not true. Folks like her who serve their churches and communities and families in all the small things--quietly, humbly, faithfully--these are the true saints. They are not there for glory or to feed their egos or to score points with God. They see what needs to be done and do it, whether others are watching or not.

This is something I need to remember moment by moment. I live in an environment of seemingly endless self-promotion and a hunger for attention and recognition and grandiosity. I don't want to get sucked into that mentality, always calculating if doing this good deed or that will get me...get me what??? What is it that I want anyways? Fame? Respect? Envy? A pat on the back? Marketability? I sure hope those are not the things I want in my heart of hearts. This is why I so very much love the Small is Beautiful Manifesto.

I know that if Jesus were to come and throw a banquet at our church, he would personally take Jan by the arm and escort her to the seat next to him at the table. And that is the way it should be.

Love Thursday--Love Is Love Is Love (Part 2)

It's Love Thursday over on Shutter Sisters, so go check it out.

For my Love is Love is Love (Part 1) post, click here.

I had a long talk with my mother yesterday while she was over at our place. It probably was not the typical conversation you would expect between a daughter and her conservative evangelical Christian Korean mom. It had to do with her attitudes towards homosexuality. I think it was a mutually enlightening and shocking talk for the both of us. Shocking to her because she had no idea how strongly I felt about most churches' stance on and attitudes towards the LGBT community, and shocking to me because I had no idea how misinformed she was regarding homosexuality.

The reason I brought this topic up with her is that I've been wondering about the prevalence of Koreans coming out as LGBT in Korea and in the U.S., especially among the Korean Christian church subculture. While I do not make light of the persecution and discrimination faced by those who are LGBT in any culture, I can't help wonder about their experience in Korean culture because that is something I happen to be familiar with. Koreans are deeply ingrained in Confucianism, and reverence for elders and conformity to familial and society's expectations are deeply held values, while individuality is not. I know so many Koreans even here in the U.S. who repressed their artistic inclinations and dreams to become the doctors and lawyers and financial planners that their parents desired. I used to know a guy (Korean) whose parents threatened to commit double suicide at his wedding because he was marrying someone whose social class and educational background weren't good enough for them. And you thought those Korean soap operas were being melodramatic…

So my mom said that as far as she knew, people coming out openly as being LGBT was becoming more common in Korea, but that to her it was unheard of among Korean Christians in the U.S. That latter part is a bit dubious to me, and I would attribute it to either kids not telling their parents for fear of being disowned, of disappointing their parents, of rejection, etc. or to parents being too ashamed to talk about it and pretending it isn't true.

When I asked my mother point blank what she thought about the treatment of LGBT people by the church, she said it was something that she didn't feel the need to think about. The insinuation was that she didn't think it was that big of a deal, it didn't concern her, and she didn't feel like it was an issue deserving of her time and effort. I was flabbergasted. She was basically saying that she didn't care.

And I am afraid that she is not the only one amongst those deeply entrenched in the Christian subculture. Now I think I get it, how so many churches can stand by and do nothing while a significant segment of humanity is persecuted, harassed, discriminated against, and not afforded the basic right to be who they are—openly and without fear. It's because so many are misinformed, ignorant of facts, and too uncomfortable with the subject to realize that this is something they should care about.

Here is a list of a few things my mother was unaware of or misinformed about to give you an idea:

• Until recently, she didn't realize that being gay could be inborn. She thought it was deviant behavior born of deviant choices, and I'm pretty sure she would attribute it to demons. And while she now acknowledges that some people are born gay, she still thought this was the minority and that the vast majority of homosexuals could be "cured" through prayer and counseling if they REALLY wanted to change. She really believes that ex-gay ministries are successful.

• She let it slip that she believed AIDS to be a "gay" disease and in some way evidence that God condemns homosexuality.
  

• She thought homosexuality was just about physical sex. It didn't occur to her that homosexuals fall in love like heterosexuals do and that there's so much more to it than sex. I asked her if sex was the first and only thing on her mind when she had experienced falling in love or being attracted to someone, and she sort of got my point, but I could tell she still found it hard to believe that two people of the same sex could love each other the way heterosexuals do.

• She had no idea that there was even a debate on what the Bible actually says about homosexuality. This is a very common misconception. Something that doesn't really get discussed very often in fundamentalist or even Evangelical Christian churches is that the Bible WAS NOT WRITTEN IN ENGLISH!!!!!!! This may seem like an obvious thing, but when you're raised in the church, and that printed book so revered and idolized by everyone who has authority over you says that HOMOSEXUALS are going to hell, it doesn't occur to you that the word being translated as HOMOSEXUAL could mean something entirely different from the idea of a loving, committed relationship between two people of the same sex. There is, in fact, quite a bit of debate on what the Bible says about homosexuality (the very little it supposedly gets addressed at all), and I think that many, if not most, evangelicals assume that only liberal (and therefore unbiblical) Christians would go so far as to believe that the Bible does not condemn homosexuality as a sin.

And yet, I have hope. My mother didn't shut down the conversation, for one thing, and while she said she was shocked at my level of conviction, she did ask me for some books to help her better understand the issue. And while maybe she may not become the next Peggy Campolo (Tony Campolo's wife) of the Korean community, I can hope and pray that with a dispelling of myths and lies, and by hearing the stories of real people, that she will at least have more compassion for the LGBT community and have the courage to encourage those in her community and circle of relationships to do so as well.

Best Shot(s) Monday--Dreaming of a White Easter

I don't know who was dreaming of a white Easter, but they sure got it whoever they are. I think it was colder this Easter weekend than most Christmases in recent memory (except maybe this past one--it's been a brutal winter here, y'all).

I didn't buy Cadence an Easter dress this year. Part of the reason is that Easter fell so early I just forgot. Another reason is that I don't like Easter dresses. Cadence already runs to the mirror and admires her own reflection every time I put any dress on her, so I don't want her acquiring a taste for foofy frilly stuff. Unless it's vintage, like the dress she's wearing in the photo above, or hand-made. Then it's okay.

I don't think Cadence minded at all that I put her in an old dress over blue jeans for Easter festivities at Grandma and Grandpa's house. She had a blast searching for the Easter eggs Grandpa had hidden all over the house.

We also had fun making real Easter eggs with natural dyes. Thanks to Amy Geekgrl of Crunchy Domestic Goddess for the tips! We found that turmeric and curry powder make a lovely yellow, paprika makes a nice brownish orange, and blueberries make an awesome lavender/purple. Next year, I think I want to use spinach for green and find a good source for making a really bright red.

I hope you all had a Happy Easter/First-Weekend-of-Spring!

Go see more folk's Best Shot's on Tracey' Mother May I.

Seven Weird Things About Moi

The lovely Tracey Clark has tagged me for the "7 weird things about me" meme. I have to admit I really had to think about this one because I'm quite boring. I mean, yeah, I'm plenty WEIRD, but it's really BORING weird, not INTERESTING weird. Here's what I've come up with, at any rate. Oh, and I'm including seven weird photos as a bonus.

1. I grew up in a fundamentalist evangelical-wannabe cult called University Bible Fellowship. You can read more about that shenanigan here and here. That's probably the most profoundly and absolutely weirdest thing about me.

2. I have no tolerance for violence in movies or TV. It's not a MORAL thing. It's more like I-hit-the-floor-and-cover-my-head-lest-the bullets/demons/knives-fly-off-the- screen-right-at-me kind of thing. When we were kids, one of our favorite shows was Barnaby Jones. I used to run out of the room regularly during that show to avoid even the possibility of witnessing someone getting punched in the nose.

3. Growing up, my family subscribed religiously to Time Magazine. I read just about every issue almost cover to cover, BUT, and here's the weird part, I always started with the last page. To this day, if I happen to come across a copy of Time, I turn to the last page first. I think it must be my total lack of tolerance for any type of suspense.

4. I can't eat yellow bananas. They have to be at least slightly green, or I can't stand the taste. For this reason, numerous bananas are left to turn black in our home. Which is okay because then Ted makes banana bread which I really like.

5. I've been with the same company for 12 years. Apparently, this is considered weird by some of my peers. Fortunately, I really like the folks I work with, I LOVE my boss, and I'm treated really well there.

6. I can't read non-fiction without falling asleep unless it's about parenting, a memoir, biography or historical in nature. This posed a problem to my educational success, as most of the required reading (except for history and Englist Lit) would fall into the category of non-fiction that I just couldn't get through. I have no idea how I got through college, let alone grad school.

7. I have this thing about taking photos of people's shoes, especially when I'm at a rock show. It's not a fetish or anything, just one of my quirks.

Now it's time to tag some folks, so I tag the following and whoever else wants to join in:

Leigh (Mere Mortal)
Christina (Momology)
Maya (Laurent Files)
Amy Geekgrl (Crunch Domestic Goddess)
Paige (Look Away)

This happens to be a "Links Around the World" meme, so if you participate, add your blog link to the end of the list on your own post (I copied and pasted the code from the View Source to get all the links).

Link Addiction ~ Ardour of the Heart ~ When Life Becomes a Book ~ The Malaysian Life ~ Yogatta.com ~ What goes under the sun ~ Roshidan’s Cyber Station ~ Sasha says ~ Arts of Physics ~ And the legend lives ~ My View, My Life ~ A Simple Life ~ Juliana RW ~ Mom Knows Everything ~ Beth & Cory’s Mom ~ A Mind Forever Voyaging~ enjoying the ride ~ Jennifer’s thoughts ~ Mom of 3 Girls ~ Amanda ~ Don’t Make Me Get The Flying Monkeys ~ ExPat Mom ~ Just Jessie ~ Wilson Six ~Krisitn ~ Nuttier Than You ~ Shonnte ~ Summer’s Nook ~ Laura Williams Musings ~ Sher ~ Shanda ~ Seven QTPies ~ Mel ~ Skittles ~ Lady Banana ~ Momhood Moments ~ Business Mars ~ A Simple life ~ moms….. check nyo ~ Mommy’s Little Corner ~ Pampered ~ HappyHeart ~ Make Every Day Your Lucky Day ~ Thumbelina Creations ~ Ivonnardona's Creations ~ Jewellery Craft ~ A Bead a Day~ Useless Ramblings ~Candid Yammering ~ Green Eyed Mama ~ Mother May I ~ Shutterbug Mama