All the Small Things

Jen Lemen has a beautiful story and photo to share on Shutter Sisters, and so I thought I'd share a photo and story too.

I took the photo above at church on Easter Sunday. The woman you see sitting is Jan. She is the person who sits in the back of the sanctuary at her little table and hands out Sunday programs to latecomers (a category we fall into 90% of the time). She is there every Sunday, faithfully serving with a warm smile and kind, gentle eyes.

It may seem that what she does in the church is insignificant, but I know that is not true. Folks like her who serve their churches and communities and families in all the small things--quietly, humbly, faithfully--these are the true saints. They are not there for glory or to feed their egos or to score points with God. They see what needs to be done and do it, whether others are watching or not.

This is something I need to remember moment by moment. I live in an environment of seemingly endless self-promotion and a hunger for attention and recognition and grandiosity. I don't want to get sucked into that mentality, always calculating if doing this good deed or that will get me...get me what??? What is it that I want anyways? Fame? Respect? Envy? A pat on the back? Marketability? I sure hope those are not the things I want in my heart of hearts. This is why I so very much love the Small is Beautiful Manifesto.

I know that if Jesus were to come and throw a banquet at our church, he would personally take Jan by the arm and escort her to the seat next to him at the table. And that is the way it should be.

ah, remember the good old days?

...and by the good old days, i mean the reason i started this blog, which was to post photos from the shows i went to. actually, it was denison witmer who started it all for me. i went to see him play 5 years ago, took photos, and decided to start a blog. and that's who i went to see last sunday night at the beat kitchen.

i don't think i've seen denison in a few years. in fact, i can't remember the last time i saw him. we've gotten so busy in our lives...i've been part of his fanbase since his first full-length album, and it was so much easier to keep in touch back when he didn't have thousands of fans to keep up with. so sunday night, he came up to me before the show, and the 1st thing out of his mouth after our hug hello was something like, 'thanks for your lovely gift of the gibson,' while he gave me a joking nudge.

...now some of you may be wondering what the heck he's talking about. well, he's referring to a beautiful vintage gibson j-45 acoustic guitar that i once owned. he had the chance to play it about 4 1/2 years ago when he stayed with me and my friend megan after a show. apparently, he really liked the guitar, although he never told me so. a few months later, i happened to see on his friendster profile that he'd changed his answer to the question 'who i want to meet' to 'someone who will sell me a vintage j-45 for cheap.' i laughed when i saw that, but i never said anything to him and never offered to sell it to him. that's because somebody already called dibs on the guitar a couple months before.

...about 5 years ago, my friend caleb saw the photo of my guitar on my blog. i'm not sure, but he may have drooled when he saw the photo, and he told me just how valuable the guitar was. he got to meet the guitar in person that july when he came out to chicago to help me in the merch tent at the infamous cornerstone of 2002. i think caleb fell in love with that guitar on the first strum. since that day, whenever caleb would come to town, he would make a special visit to my guitar.

some of my favorite musical moments have involved caleb and his friends playing that j-45 in my little attic apartment on churchill street. it was pretty obvious to me that the only reason i got possession of that guitar was so that i could pass it on to its rightful owner. i gave it to caleb last february when he was in town for a wedding. hopefully, it's getting good use now. a guitar like that--it would've been a shame for me to hold onto it.

...anyhoo, i digress...so the show sunday night was the first i'd been to in a LONG time. considering it was a snowy, cold sunday night, i was surprised by the turnout. by the time denison got up to play, the room was pretty packed. the college kids just love denison, and a little snow couldn't scare them. it's kinda fun looking back to the first show i saw him play, and how much more reserved he was back then with his stories. now, he's so relaxed on stage and has a great rapport w/ his audience. i had forgotten how much i love denison's songs. they were the soundtrack to one of the toughest periods of my life, and i think i will always have a special place carved out in my heart for him and his music.

jesus on the metra

...on most work days, i take the metra train to and from my company out in lake forest. coming home, the train is usually so crowded that people who get on near the end of the line have to stand in the aisles and vestibules. yesterday, a young woman got on at the evanston davis street station. by this time, it was starting to feel like a can of sardines on the train, so she cheerfully asked a hispanic woman and her two young boys if she could squeeze in with them. they were sitting at the front of the car, where two seats face each other. she sat down next to the mom and faced the two little boys.

as soon as she was seated, this young woman began talking to the boys, who were bashful and somewhat puzzled at being paid attention to by a complete stranger. the younger boy didn't understand english too well, so his brother spoke for the both of them. for the next eight minutes until the boys and their mom got off @ the Rogers Park station, this young woman asked them all kinds of questions, like what they were for halloween, did they get a lot of candy, did they go to school, etc. etc. she didn't speak in an exaggerated high-pitched condescending voice like some adults do w/ kids. she spoke to them like they were her fellow human beings, and as deserving of attention and respect as her peers. she didn't ask questions just to ask questions. she actually listened to the answer and commented. in other words, she actually held a conversation with these boys.

...i was amazed as i witnessed all this. these boys, who were around 3 and 7 years old, were usually somewhat loud and unruly, but this time they were polite and behaved beautifully for those eight minutes. i saw that their faces were lit up, esp. the older boy, who has probably been around long enough to have been ignored and belittled and barely tolerated by most unfamiliar adults.

as i walked home from the train station, i couldn't stop thinking about that woman and those boys. even though it was freezing outside, i felt a strange, sweet warm sensation inside, like i'd just partaken of a hot frothy latte from metropolis. i had a smile on my face, which is unusual for me by this time of evening when i'm normally pretty tired and grumpy.

and then it hit me, and it suddenly made sense. i had just seen JESUS on the metra, and he was a young woman wearing a diamond stud in her nose and gray and red striped textured tights on her legs. of course! jesus LOVES the little children! it's been his plan all along that the kingdom of god would belong to the smallest and weakest of them all!

...wow. sometimes, god likes to take the form of an old man to play skee ball on coney island, and sometimes he, or SHE, goes for a ride on the metra and talks to little kids. you just never know...