Three Thoughts Thursday #7

#1—I recently celebrated a semi-milestone birthday, which has forced me to contemplate my aging process. I have to say, if there's one thing my mom has done well, it's to age gracefully. At the age of 65, she still has only a few stray gray hairs here and there, and her face lacks but a few wrinkles. In the past year, I have come to grips with the fact that my hair is in fact starting to gray. This wouldn't be so bad if my hair were a lighter color, but when you've got black hair, it's really hard to miss. Just this morning, when I looked in the mirror, I was horrified to find that a few strands had gone white totally overnight. Like, how is that even possible?

Different people have different ways of dealing with their deviant strands. Me? I pluck those suckers right out of my scalp as fast as I can. Luckily, I haven't found too many so far. And yet, I know I'll have to make a decision as to what I'm gonna do about the gray once these ghost strands become too numerous for me to keep up with. The thing is, I don't want to dye my hair. My dad stopped dying his later in life, and he had a lovely head of silvery moonbeam hair. I actually wouldn't mind having that. I just hope it's not at the age of 35. Anyhoo, I don't know what to do in the interim. If I dyed my hair, I'd want to dye it a totally different color, like cobalt blue or magenta. Something tells me that wouldn't go over so well at my place of gainful employment...

#2—It seems to me that a lot of newish parents these days fret over the size of their babies and toddlers, especially if they're on the smallish side. It doesn't help that the growth charts published in every parenting book and exhibited by pediatricians across the country don't take into account factors such as whether the children were formula-fed or breastfed or the genetic makeup inherited from the parents. Cadence has been falling off the charts weight-wise for some time now, and if it weren't for those pesky charts, I probably wouldn't stress out so much over her eating habits. The fact is, she's happy, playful, strong and active. If you look at her, the word "malnourished" would never enter your mind. Still, I wish she'd eat actual meals more than a couple times a week.

Speaking of small, I finally got to meet my friends Zarah and Felix's newborn son Asher yesterday. He is tiny at just over 5lbs (after losing some of his birthweight like all newborns) but is just about the most beautiful baby I've ever seen. Granted, I only saw him while he was slumbering, but I'm sure he's just as beautiful awake. I absolutely love the way newborns look and smell and feel in your arms. Even my cousin's Baby Eden, who's now a whopping 4 months old, feels so small and light compared to Cadence, who herself is still light enough to carry with one arm.

*Sigh*. Here's a photo of Cadence from the archives, when she was really little. Can you tell I have just an eensy-teensie bit of baby fever? I'll get over it soon enough, though, before it's too late. Although this would be the perfect time for me to get pregnant…My work usually slows down for mid-spring/early summer, which would be just around 40 weeks from now. Hmmm…

Alright, moving right along...

#3—I know that my affinity for used/vintage clothing is obvious in the way I dress Cadence. Well, what's even better than used/vintage is used/vintage hand-me-downs from people I love. That's exactly what Cadence is wearing in this photo. The shirt and shorts were her Auntie Lauren's way back in the 80's. Ted's mom made the shorts, and she spruced up the shirt with the lace/ribbon trim.

I wish my mom had kept some of my clothes from girlhood. There was this one Snoopy shirt which I can guarantee never existed in the U.S. And then there was that white dress with the floral apron that I absolutely adored. I guess we could only take so much on the plane when we moved here from Korea, but still...It apparently never occurred to my mom to save any of my stuff, even my hanboks. She expressed surprise that Ted's mom had kept Lauren's clothese all these years. This is coming from someone who saved every one of my report cards from grammar school. Oh well.

Dooced.

It's true. I've been dooced. Now, now, don't worry. I haven't lost my PAYING job cuz of this blog YET. I did, however, get politely let-go as the primary photographer for Ted's sister's wedding. Apparently, Ted's mom hired a professional photographer. While I don't think it's because she read about my anxiety regarding the gig on my blog, I can't help thinking that my writing that post somehow released to the universe the knowledge that I am in fact nervous about photographing a once-in-a-lifetime event, and the powers-that-be somehow got wind of it.

Lauren and Doug still want me to take some photos, just not as the primary photographer. That's okay, I guess. But I know from experience that if there's a professtional in the house, I get all intimidated and I don't pull out my camera as often or at all. I think I feel like if there's someone there getting paid to take professional photos, it would be presumptious on my part to think I could take any photos that would be worth shooting beyond what the pro captures. The exception to this was Caleb and Kathy's wedding, where I did shoot quite a few photos, but I think that was out of blissful ignorance of my own shortcomings.

I have to admit I'm relieved that I don't have to worry about missing important moments such as The Kiss any more. That's the pro's job, in my opinion. I WAS gonna tell Doug to make it an extra long kiss to give me a better chance of getting the shot, but now I guess it doesn't matter. Heck, now that I think about it, I'm relieved that there WILL be someone there who knows what they're doing. That frees me up to take my artsy-fartsy photos which I'm sure the parents wouldn't appreciate. Now all the pressure's on the pro, and if all my shots come out crappy, which is a distinct possibility considering my lack of experience and equipment, then thank goodness they hired someone else.

Still, I can't help feeling a little stupid for running out and buying that D50. Oh well. I guess I do need that camera for my 50mm lens. I'm just glad I found out before I spent our savings on extra batteries, memory cards, expensive post-processing software and a new laptop to support said new software. I had planned on telling Ted it was about time we got new computer equipment, but now that I don't have this wedding to worry about, I suddenly don't feel all that anxious about it. That'll save us at least $1,200. When Ted hears that, I'm sure he'll be thrilled I got the boot from this gig.

Hey, Lore--How About THIS Wedding Cake?!

Ted's sister Lauren (his only sister of his 4 siblings, I might add) is getting married to her sweet and handsome Bostwanian Swede Douglas in August. She's asked me to be the photographer for the big event, and before you think she's crazy for asking an amateur like me (Let's face it, guys. Y'all are really sweet to me, but that's what I am. Have you ever been on Flickr?), you have to know Lore. She's a simple gal who wants a simple wedding and who prefers things more spontaneous and informal. I think I can handle that.

Don't get me wrong. To some degree, I'm shaking in my crocs. Which is why I'm trying to do as much preparation as possible before the big day. I'm taking this assignment seriously, and I think my first step is going to be to ask beg our sister-in-law Ali in Seattle for help. She's a film photographer with a great eye and so much more experience than me. I think it would be pretty stupid to have just one photographer. Even I had two at my little backyard wedding (Ali and my friend Teal Pheal).

I've actually shot two weddings (as the backup photographer, of course) with my point-and-shoots a while back. The first one was a disaster because it was entirely indoors under artificial lighting, and my camera only went up to an ISO400. DisASTER. Thank GOD they had an AWESOME and PROFESSIONAL REAL photographer (who was probably giggling behind my back at my little coolpix). The 2nd wedding was for my friends Caleb and Kathy, who also had an awesome primary photographer. That wedding was an early wedding with lots of natural light, so I fared better at that one, and if I'd actually had an SLR, I'd have to say the photos would have been kick-ass.

In addition to asking Ali for help, I've taken another step towards being a better faux-real photographer. I got myself another SLR body. Yes, I done gone out and bought me a used D50, just so I could use my 50mm f/1.8 lens without having to manually focus. I suppose I could've put that lens on my film SLR, but do you have any idea what a friggin' nervous wreck I'd be wondering how the photos were coming out? Yeah. Not my cup of tea. Besides. If you're gonna shoot a wedding, you gotta have two bodies so you don't have to keep switching out your lenses. Right? And look at that photo above, which I took w/ the D50 and the 50mm lens. No postprocessing here. That is all natural blur, folks. And dirt. All natural dirt on them footsies.

I'm also actually going to look at books about photographing weddings. In case you didn't know, wedding photography is a huge industry now. Wedding photojournalism has especially gotten popular. People don't want just canned posed photos of their weddings any more. They want flippin' ART. I hear there are a few good books on the subject that may give me ideas and hopefully the technical know-how to execute those ideas.

I plan on shooting in RAW format to be on the safe side so that I can make corrections if need be in post process. I don't do a lot of post processing, considering up until I discovered Picasa, I only used Microsoft Photoeditor for making changes and corrections to my photos. I'm pretty scared of Photoshop. I tried it for a month and just couldn't get comfortable with it. So I've been seeing a lot of Flickrites using Lightroom, which is definitely cheaper than Photoshop, and I'm thinking I might try it out and see if I like it. My friend Lori has been using it a lot, and I love the results she's getting. Of course, she has Photoshop experience, so I may not get the same results…

So yeah. I'm taking this pretty seriously, as I should, it being a once-in-a-lifetime event and all. It's also my wedding present for Lauren and Doug, so I want it to be as good as possible. This is no time to be hiding behind pseudoartistic pride or punk rawk stubbornness, if you know what I mean. I figure I have two months to practice and learn all I can.

Those of you experienced in wedding photography, if you have any pointers, now would be the time to speak up. Even if you've never posted a comment on here before, this would be the time to delurk. I will be most grateful!

One last thing. What shoes should I wear?

Three Thoughts Thursday #5

#1— This has been a beautiful week weatherwise in Chicago (although we could use some rain soon, I'm sure). We live about a mile from the lake, and I've been there with Cadence a few times this past week. I was reminded again just how beautiful it is to live by a big body of water like Lake Michigan. I know I rave about summers in Seattle, but when you think about it, summers in Chicago are pretty damn nice too.

I know that we don't live by the BIGGEST of the Great Lakes, but it still looks like an ocean to me. You can't help but be filled with a sense of awe while looking out on the vast waters beneath a huge endless sky. I just don't get tired of this. Ever.

#2—Something I wonder and worry about every 3 days or so is where, when and how to send Cadence to school. Ted and I have seriously considered homeschooling, cuz let's face it—Chicago Public Schools are not exactly stellar. But lately, Cadence has shown an interest in going to school. She's run into kids from a nearby preschool at a local playground, and she really seems to want to be a part of that whole scene. I guess playing with an entire group of people her own size is more appealing than same old boring mom and dad. So I guess we are open to the idea of sending her to school. Lord knows Ted could probably use the break. And now we have to ask ourselves when we think a good time would be to enroll her. And considering most schools require that you apply a good 6-9 months in advance, we may need to decide WHERE to send her sooner than we'd like.

Part of it will depend on the luck of the draw, literally, as I hear the best public schools in the city have a pretty competitive lottery system of admission. I've thought about packing up the family and moving into the neighborhood of certain schools so that we'd have a better chance of getting in. But I'd hate to go through all that trouble and end up not getting in at all.

I feel like so much of public education in the last decade has focused a ridiculous amount of time on testing, which I think is stupid and a waste of taxpayer dollars. I was surprised to find that an increasing number of schools have done away with recess. I don’t want Cadence to be stuck in a learning environment where she's forced to fill in an endless array of bubbles with a #2 pencil day after day. That's not what I call learning. That's what I call mind-numbing, brain-cell-annihilating exercise in futility.

#3—Lately, I've been thinking that it would be nice to have a large family. I'm actually a big supporter of folks who choose to have only one child. In the U.S., having just one kid has the environmental impact of having maybe 30 kids or more in certain parts of the developing world. This is something I actually have thought about a lot. On the other hand, I've ALWAYS wanted to be in a big family, and I really enjoy the dynamics among Ted and his siblings. Cadence is such a social kid that I think she's really going to give us a hard time if we don't provide her with some siblings. Now don't jump to the conclusion that Ted and I are gonna get busy for a #2 anytime soon. Adding another family member would be a significant change to the current family environment, and we need to think about this more. I know some of you are laughing at me, but dude…Cadence is a flippin' handful…A very cute, sweet and charming handful, but still…Maybe what she needs is a lot of cousins…

Three-Day Weekends Make Me Need a Vacation

Seriously, folks. Sometimes our lives just get so busy, I have to go into work to get some rest. If it weren't for the commute, I would LOVE going to work like ALL the TIME.

We went to our friends Jeff and Lena's house in Elgin for a BBQ/Birthday party on Monday. They recently bought an old historic Victorian house that they're fixing up. We were celebrating both Jeff's and Uncle Jay's birthdays. Jeff and Jay went to high school together and are now business partners for Periphix Computer Solutions.

It was a nice day to grill and be outdoors. I like city life, but sometimes it's nice to have a yard and some (relatively) fresh air.

I mean, when was the last time we played croquet in the city? Like, never, that's when.

Cadence was unusually docile for most of the afternoon. She was happy to just watch what others were doing, or just play by herself, often singing nonsense songs. Maybe it was all the unfamiliar faces, although most of Ted's immediate family were there. Or maybe it's because there was a big bowl of chips just within her reach. I guess I'd be happy too if I were a 2-1/2-year-old and there were all-you-can-eat Doritos around.

Anyhoo, it was cool to see the inside of an old house and see all the work Jeff and Lena have put into it. They could totally have a Bed and Breakfast if they wanted.

The day didn't end with the BBQ. We went over later that night to my cousin Ben and Rachel's apartment to see my aunt and uncle and Ben's sister Jessica who were visiting for the long weekend. We were supposed to be having coffee when we got there, but my aunt had JUST finished cooking dinner, which ended up being a feast of shrimp, squid, alaskan king crab legs, korean spicy pork, and zucchini and eggplant fritters. I guess they went to Super H-mart and went a little crazy because there was a huge seafood sale going on. Ted and I love our aunt's cooking, so we dove in and pigged out.

Ben and Rachel's daughter Eden is growing so fast! It's fun seeing another little baby. I like seeing how Cadence reacts to her, and she seems to be warming up to her quite nicely. She asked me later at home if we could get a Baby Eden too. HA HA HA! Yeah right. So I told her if we had another baby in the family, Mommy and Daddy would have to take care of the other baby too, and she didn't take too kindly to that idea.

Anyhoo. I need a vacation.