the 3rd dBro is moved in now courtesy of the siblings & significant others' moving company...teddy, lauren, lauren's boyfriend douglas (rouge douge) who's visiting from sweden, dave & i moved all of dave's stuff in one trip (thank god he got a truck & not a van like the last dBro/Sis move)...we were on a tight schedule because we had to move and watch the extended version of two towers by 5:45pm...dave, lore & doug were exhausted from snowboarding the day before, but we got it done, and started the movie a little after 2...unfortunately, jay's dvd player konked out, and then mine konked out too, so we had to quickly unpack dave's computer & skipped a bunch of scenes and watched the 2nd disc...ellen joined us after she got out of work, and then we all scooted over to the amc to watch a 6:15 show for return of the king...i have to say, i think those battle scenes were pretty spectacular...but for the whole movie, i was expecting a certain main character to die because someone told me that would happen, and IT DIDN'T...i can't tell you the amount of unnecessary stressing out i did to prepare myself for what i thought was the inevitable demise of a dearly beloved character, only to find out 3.5 hours later that i'd been duped...



...and as the year draws to a close, i just want to take some time to look back on what was definitely a year full of both joys and sorrows...



...i suppose the biggest part of the past year was my teddy...even now, teddy & i can't believe how an unexpected friendship blossomed into the relationship we share today...i feel like this is the first time i'm able to love like a grownup instead of a spoiled adolescent...teddy has taught me a lot about courage and humility...he's given me the purest and simplest of joys...i will never forget the lessons i've learned this year with my teddy...



...my momma thinks that teddy was god's gift to me to comfort me in life without my dad...and in some ways she's right...all good things are a gift from god...and teddy is definitely a good thing...and although there is nothing and no one in this world who will ever take the place of my dad, teddy has definitely comforted my heart in really big ways...and yet, there is still a shadow over my life...some days have been darker than others...like when i have dreams in which i relive those painful brutal last days of my dad's life...it's kinda like that wound frodo received from the ringwraith...it was a wound he would carry with him the rest of his life...that's what it like to lose my dad...getting pierced with a sword of mordor...



...and still, the days of shadow were outdone by days of joy this past year...when you get right down to business, i have to say i had a lot of fun these past 12 months...from teddy's new year's eve party to the jeff tweedy/wilco concert w/ caleb & crew to serene's visits to frolicking about town w/ teddy & his siblings & other friends to iowa city to seattle to new york city to falling in love with my own city to shows shows shows in between...



...it's been a lovely year indeed...



been listening to--

give up--the postal service

red medicine--fugazi

the argument--fugazi

start here--the gloria record

murray street--sonic youth

spoon & rafter--mojave 3

wanna know how big of a ditz i am? i'm cleaning up (i use the term loosely) my computer desk area, and what do i find but 'protein source of the future...now!' by the mountain goats...i don't even remember buying it! it was as if the cd had fallen out of the sky into my unsuspecting little hands, and all i can say is SING ON JOHN DARNIELLE!!!



...so i spent most of my actual working time today at work thinking i'd lost all my data for the past two weeks in my main database-of-the-month...only to find that i was looking at an older COPY which i had forgotten to rename cuz i'm an IDIOT! and i'm not going back to work until wednesday...tomorrow we move greendeeve into teddy & jay's apartment...hopefully it will be quick and relatively painless...i have my doubts though cuz half the moving crew has been snowboarding up @ devil's head all day today...it was lovely weather for boarding, i hear...damn...i really wanna go this friday but it may take some convincing of the significant other cuz i dunno why since we have nothing better to do that day...anyways...i must go and finish my loose use of the term 'cleaning up'...



been listening to--

oh mercy--bob dylan

blood on the tracks--bob dylan

and now i'm listening to protein source of the future...now! by the mountain goats cuz i know that i own it and can pop it into my cd player and listen to my hearts content...



p.s. i am going to give up all hopes of becoming a REAL photographer cuz of this person...if you, my dear readers, lose all respect for my photographic schemes, i wouldn't blame you...i'd join you...

...saturday night i got together w/ my bro jim & cuzins casey, kris & yonju & yonju's bfriend...teddy was working so he couldn't join us...we ate dinner @ joy yee's in evanston...my brother, the oldest amongst us, was either being very generous or very asian and footed the bill...we were missing the company of the other cuzins ike & inho who chose to stay in their respective states of residence for the holidays this year and yonju's little brother who isn't so little any more and most likely prefers the company of other 21 year olds, as opposed to us old farts...it's kinda strange growing older and watching my cuzins become adults and realizing that i guess i'm an adult too...we sure are a motley crew still...

...my friend david bruce was playing a last minute show @ the raw bar next to the metro, so we migrated the party there for drinks and to hear dave play...we stayed for a couple of hours talking and catching up and debating whether my brother should go and spend a year in korea or not and discussing why some asian guys can be so narrowminded and oldfashioned in their expectations for their girlfriends or wives...i was kinda out of it taking photos and pretty much just listened in...

...dave had his sequencer and bongos and shakers and other stuff and played a lot of loops in the background...he can play some really mean guitar...my brother was digging it, esp. when he played moon-something by van morrison...unfortunately, i had to leave before the show was over cuz teddy needed a ride from a coworker's bday party, and we left just when dave started playing his new stuff...he did give me a cd on my way out, which was nice of him...photos of the show are right here...

...i finally got around to doing the laundry i was supposed to do yesterday this afternoon...i think i've got a good two weeks worth of clean socks and undies now...after laundry, i got together w/ connolly & olarn @ cafe deluca's for dinner and to exchange presents...connolly got me the action heroine's handbook, which will give me the step-by-step guidelines on doing things vital to an action heroine like myself, such as choking a man with my bare thighs, winning a high-speed chase in high heels, and going undercover as a beauty queen...you know...regular everyday action heroine stuff...and i know this book is gonna work cuz last year connolly got me the survival guide to dating and that book totally worked in landing me with teddy...

...and now the christmas holiday is over and i have to remember what i'm supposed to do at work tomorrow...that'll probably take me all day...but i'm taking tuesday and friday off, in addition to the short day on wednesday and the holiday on thursday, which means i will be spoiled all over again until the reality of a 5 day week hits me like a ton of bricks next week...but let's not think of such unpleasant things now, eh?

...ok folks, i'm back! hope everybody's had a lovely christmas week! i sure have...the loveliness definitely outweighed the stress...one of these years i'm gonna figure out how to do a stressfree christmas so that it's just pure undiluted loveliness...but for now, i'm happy with whatever joy joy joy i can get...

quick recap...christmas eve, teddy & i went to my mom's for dinner...he & my bro jim made some totally yummy pizzas...we bought all the ingredients @ trader joes...here's a little secret guys...if you get one of them premade pizza crusts, just pour a little of trader joe's vodka marinara sauce on it and pile on the ingredients and bake @ 425 until the cheese is nice & golden...we made one with shrimp and pineapple and peppers and that was absolutely deLISH...the other one was a mushroom onion pepper pizza and that was good too...after dinner, we opened presents and then my mom's brother's family came over...my cousins sherline & debbie came over too and it was good to see them again...sherline lives in atlanta and is in school and so's debbie over in charlottsville, va...we had a little dessert, and then teddy, jim & i went to the christmas eve service @ the evanston vineyard...

christmas day, teddy & his bro jason & i picked up their grandma carol and we went to the p's house in the nw burbs...it felt like driving santa's sleigh cuz my little subaru was filled to the brim with christmas presents...every little crevice was overtaken by tokens of holiday cheer...

when we got to the house, teddy's dad was beginning to decorate the christmas tree, so we got to help...this was the first traditional christmas tree i've ever decorated, with ornaments that have been in the family for years, and ones made by grandma sophie and the kids when they were little...it was fun, although somewhat awkward maneuvering around all the presents that were already piled beneath the tree...and i really couldn't reach above the 5' 8" mark due to my being vertically challenged...

unfortunately, jason had to be at work downtown by 5pm, so we kinda had to rush through things...dave and ellen got there maybe close to 2 and we had a late lunch and then started in on the presents...i mean, there were a LOT of presents to get through...with 4 kids, 2 significant others, mom & dad & grandma carol, the floor beneath the tree was beginning to cave in under the weight of all the presents...

...the way teddy's family opens presents is they roll dice to see who goes first...the whole process of opening everything must have take a couple hours...it was starting to get dark by the time we were finished...we let jason go second without rolling just so he could leave and go to work...

...one of the gifts i'd given to all the kids was this wind-up bath toy i'd found @ cost plus...they were all water related and could swim if you wound them up...and surprisingly, there was one for each color name...for those of you who haven't figured this out yet, teddy's siblings and friends play this game called the color game...it all started when teddy & his 2nd oldest brother charles (who lives in seattle w/ his wife ali) were kids...charles was picking on teddy by calling him "red ted" in a teasing way...so teddy got back at him by calling him "blue chuke" (for chuck) which was the most menacing color name combo he could come up w/ at the time...and thus the color game was born...basically, you pick a color that rhymes w/ the name (like red ted), or you make the name fit w/ the color (like blue chuke)...so you've got green deeve (dave the oldest brother), orange lorange (lauren the little sister), grey jay (jason the youngest bro and lauren's twin), chrome alisome (charles's wife ali), maroon keoom (dave's best friend keom), teal pheal (our dear phil k), modra jozka (my dear jozka a.k.a. joe), brown jown (john n. our dear poet), violetta brioletta (john's girlfriend brie), rouge douge (lauren's boyfriend doug), yellow ellow (dave's girlfriend ellen), pink erink (the boys' friend erik in utah), a few others, and yours truly is known as aquamarine sarahjean...sometimes i refer to a person by their color name (like greendeeve) or just their color (like maroon instead of keom)...

...anyways, i found these wind-up toys in different colors, and i got one for each of the kids...a green frog for greendeeve, a yellow duck for yellowellow, a grey shark for greyjay, and even an orange clown fish for orangelorange...unfortunately, i couldn't find anything red for teddy, so i got him an aquamarine seal instead...although lauren may be the only one of us who actually takes baths as opposed to showers, i thought they were fun little things to give anyway...maybe in the spring, we'll fill up an inflatable pool and have races...

...other color related items given were the monkeys...teddy got the twins stuffed monkeys in their respective colors, and they were a big hit...that orange monkey especially got around quite a bit the rest of the evening...

...after presents and dessert, teddy's dad drove grandma carol home, and the rest of us started watching fellowship of the rings cuz dave & mom hadn't seen it yet...teddy & i wanted to see two towers but we settled for FOTR for the 2nd time this month...i didn't mind...i love that movie...since it was the extended version, it took a long long time to get through, and then dave, ellen, teddy & i drove back into the city...

...the day after christmas, teddy & i went to meet my childhood chum ruthy for lunch in indiatown...it was good to see her again and catch up as usual...it's hard to believe we've known each other for over 25 years...crimeny...i still remember when the two of us would get tacos from the jack-in-the-box before going to tae kwon do...we were about as tall as hobbits back then...and now we're all grown up (sort of)...ruthy's been at stanford for a couple years or so working on her phd in education policy or something like that...i think she really REALLY likes living in california...i know i would...josh & i visited stanford once, and it was one of the loveliest campuses i've ever been to...the outdoor olympic size swimming pool, the tennis courts, the outdoor track, the buildings...not to mention the weather...i'd never get any studying done...

...so my apartment looks like the aftermath of a gift wrap tornado...i think i had better tidy up and do some laundry...

...tonight, i'm meeting some of my cuzins...at least the ones who are in town...we're going to joy yee's in evanston and then maybe shoot some pool @ pete millers...quite frankly, i'm exhausted...it's a good thing new year's week is usually quiet @ work...i'm probably going to take most of next week off anyway...

OH! i got the sufjan christmas cds!! all 3 of them! including the newest one, ding dong! with denison singing on 'come on! let's boogey to the elf dance!' heeheehee...sufjan was sweet enough to send them to arrive ON christmas...oh, he is lovely, lovely, lovely...and hearing denison's voice on some of the songs was nice too...i love that elf...

ok...time to do the laundry...

teddy & i would like to wish everybody out there a very merry christmas and a spectacular new year!!

i wish i could say that i was done with all my buying of stuff for the season, but i'm afraid i'm not...and this is after teddy & i spent all afternoon and evening running to and from various places that might house potential gifts for our respective lists...tomorrow is my last chance...

...and even though i object to the overcommercialization of the holiday, i can't help delighting in finding something special for the people i especially care about...i love to give gifts, i really do...

there is a beautiful white downy layer of snow outside now...it is really starting to feel like christmas...i'm just glad i don't have to go back to work until next monday! now THAT'S a holiday treat!

tomorrow, christmas eve, teddy & i are going to see my mom & bro for dinner...we're gonna make pizzas and hang out...and then go to church for evanston vineyard's candlelight service...christmas day we are going out to teddy's parents for brunch and various activities...i'm hoping we get to see two towers on their tv...it's like 3x the size of my tv...

i dreamt the night before last that my dad & i were skydiving tandem...it was really cool...it felt like we were dancing...at one point, that important point when our parachute was supposed to go off or something, i got detached from my dad while we were freefalling, and for an instant, i was afraid of being separated from him...but he grabbed hold of me and i guess the parachute deployed, and i remember thinking to myself what a lovely feeling it was to skydive with my dad and i wondered how soon we could do it again...it was a really short dream, but it was so beautiful...i'll take any dream in which my dad is alive and well and we're sharing a breathtaking moment...

been listening to--
something about airplanes--death cab for cutie
100 broken windows--idlewild