Sunday
Oct272002

well, i've decided to be a responsible adult and instead of the pretty girls make graves show i'm going to go to reckless, do laundry and buy groceries. in that order cuz reckless closes early on sundays.



other stuff i've listened to today--

distance--flying saucer attack

goodbye/and goodbye/the whole day ep--flying saucer attack

the sky is the new ground ep--am/fm

ancient melodies of the future--built to spill

treat me to some life--lenola

s/t--miighty flashlight

capsul--bailter space

s/t--silver apples

Sunday
Oct272002

sam studying hard @ the borzwha pig...which is hiring by the way so saturday, needless to say, i slept in having promised ryan i would sleep for more than one hour...you know what's funny...if you averaged the hours that ryan and i slept combined, it would probably amount to what the normal person should be sleeping. ryan sleeps like 12 hours a day so you do the math...anyways, i basically did nothing except go through photos from a photoshoot i did the previous night for someone's website and then pete called me from the bourgeois pig. he was w/ sam who was studying for med school tests for next week, and of course pete was bored so he wanted me to come hang out until our pedro the lion show later that evening. i guess i took a little too long getting ready cuz by the time i got to the bp, pete had gone home to shower & eat before the show. that was too bad cuz i really wanted to do a photoshoot of him & sam. oh well. but here's sam at any rate. he may look happy but he's really stressed from all that studying he has to do for med school. i don't know how anybody goes through med school. i'd go insane. i suppose somebody has to be a doctor...



chris wargo of scientificso the pedro the lion show...at the metro...early all ages show...scientific, who used to be out of chicago but jumped on the seattle bandwagon, opened up. i happen to like these guys a lot. it's basically chris and janie wargo. the dudes from seldom filled in as the other musicians. i have their album from the nest of ideas which i really love--some of the songs really remind me of older promise ring stuff. and chris's voice really sounds like davey von bohlen's sometimes. which is a compliment from me. i love davey's voice. the songs they did tonight were all new and sounded nothing like the stuff i was used to, but it was all good. it sounded a lot less poppy and a bit more dark. must be david bazan's influence...that man has a really hard time writing happy songs...i can't remember a happy song since the whole ep, correct me if i'm wrong.



the boys of seldom and then seldom got back on stage to do their set. i'd never heard their stuff but it goes right along w/ pedro's newer edgier indie rock. they sure used a lot less people than scientific. half the set was drums, keys and guitar. i like lead singers who play the keys. like when ben in death cab plays the keys and sings, i just melt...uhm, anyways, seldom wasn't the type of music to melt a girl's heart in my opinion but it was still good rock 'n' roll to me, so that's all good. to make things even better, two kids in front of pete and me on the balcony got kicked out so pete & i took their seats at the table that was right at the front of the balcony. not only that, they left a full beer which pete drank cuz he don't care about germs i guess, a pack of camel lights and a skateboard video. pete totally cashed out on that move. and he got to put his feet up for the rest of the show. i love the balcony at the metro cuz you're so close to the stage. it's an awesome view. and i didn't take a lot of pictures that night, but it did make shooting a bit easier w/ something to lean my camera on.



david bazan a.k.a. pedro the lion and friends from his seattle musical entourage and then there was david a.k.a. pedro the lion. the dude my cousin kris when i took her to the last pedro metro concert said looks like a plumber. yup. that he does. i bet he'd make a great plumber. and i bet he could come up w/ some really REALLY sad disturbing songs fixing other people's toilets. maybe i should send him an email...now this is the 3rd pedro show i've been to this year...i know, i know, some of you think even one's a bit much...but david's music was really important to me earlier this year when my life just went to shit and my dad was dying. his latest stuff is really different from his older stuff, and i know that's turned off a lot of fans who loved his moody slow dark beautifully melodic stripped down guitar stuff w/ droning drums in the background and that depressed voice of his. the last album CONTROL is an allegory of the american dream gone awry with adultery and murder and general mayhem. he rocks out on this one 1000% more than say on IT'S HARD TO FIND A FRIEND. although he does scream on almost there (the whole ep) which pete & i both really like. i mean, my favorite is always gonna be whole just cuz it's like the song about my own heart. he'll never do that at a show again, i'm sure...oh well...it was great seeing him again and hearing him answer the audience's silly questions.



mr. miller, mrs. miller, steve, dan mccarthy, and connolly up front in blueafter the show, i dropped by to see some of my high school friends at the artful dodger. turns out my history teacher mr. miller was there waiting for me to show up even though it was past his bed time. i love mr. miller...the gathering was due to my friend steve elliott's stop in chicago for his book tour for his latest novel. you can check out his stuff here. i love his poetry. steve's had one of the more incredible lives from people i've known in real life. he was homeless as a teenager, went through the juvie system here in chicago, got in all kinds of trouble (i can say all this cuz it's in his bio on all his books), managed to graduate from high school, went to college, did all kinds of stuff to make ends meet, got his masters and became a truman capote fellow at stanford university where he now teaches writing. that's a long way from the corner of devon & california where he slept on the rooftops...it still amazes me when i think about his life. steve is one of those people you can pour out your life story to, and i've done that this past year since i found him in sanfran where he now lives.



the dance floor at the artful dodgerso anyways, i missed his reading at quimby's which is a bookstore 3 blocks from my apartment, so i met up w/ the crowd at the artful dodger, a neighborhood bar nearby. it was great seeing mr. miller again. i saw him just about a year ago when steve did a reading from his previous novel at the heartland cafe. i really wish i could've been at the reading at quimby's last night...i missed the one at barnes & noble on friday night cuz of a photoshoot gig...well, he's coming back for another reading on 11/21 so maybe i'll get to go to that one. i know deni's playing that night at schuba's but i've seen deni play like 5 times already this year, and i'll see him less than a week before that in seattle.



a phantomish connolly on the dance floor this being the weekend before halloween, the artful dodger was decked out in orange and black and other decorations. the dance floor was totally empty, and so we took advantage of it. it's been so long since i'd gone dancing. i really need to set something up in my apartment so i can start dancing by myself again. that's like one of my favorite activities--putting on a groovin' cd and just letting go. i'd have to move some furniture around...anyways, one of the jobs steve did back in the days was that of a male stripper. yup. so he had some moves, that boy did...and he's not shy at all about dancing. nope. steve and i both have a thing about not dancing with other people. except with him it's cuz he dances FOR other people. me, i just dance by myself. i'll dance AROUND other people, but i've never gotten the hang of dancing WITH other people, so my friends have learned to just let me be on the dance floor and pray that i don't kill anyone or myself. actually, i was pretty mellow last night cuz i didn't have proper shoes. i normally like dancing barefoot, but i was afraid of getting splinters from what looked like a somewhat rough wood floor.



so yeah, that was fun...it's always good to see steve and old friends from high school. although connolly i talk to every day. funny considering we never said one word to each other in high school. it's all josh's doing. i miss josh...what the hell is josh doing in poughkeepsie, ny?! i should make him drive to chicago for steve's next reading. it's been FOREVER since he's been back here...well, i'll see him on thursday so i guess i can stop missing him real soon.



stuff i've been listening to:

purple rain--prince & the revolution

the whole ep--pedro the lion

sam cooke's SAR records story 1959-1965--sam cooke

s/t--hidari mae

from the nest of ideas--scientific

when we were small--rosie thomas

s/t--flying saucer attack

soulweed--alpha stone

electric tickle--lenola

once i was--tim buckley

soft effects--spoon

live--built to spill

visitor--one line drawing

self-titled long playing debut album--+/-

suburbiac--dolour

keep it like a secret--built to spill

Saturday
Oct262002

ryan my favorite monkeyi love friends who call me at 5:30 am and talk sense into me...God bless ryan beatty of serene because he is the only person besides josh who has ignored normal unspoken rules about when it's too late to call and always when he calls, it's when i really need someone to talk to...don't get me wrong...i don't want just ANYBODY calling me at 5:30 in the morning, especially if i'm sleeping, but there are those people you want to hear from regardless of the hour regardless of how deep in sleep you may be. ryan's one of those. ryan always puts things into perspective and gets a hold of me before i float too far off into outer space...he's got two feet pretty firmly established on planet earth, and we know i have a tendency to keep my head in the milky way, so he's good for bringing me back to reality. more than anything, he speaks truth into my life and he's not afraid to make me laugh while i'm bawling...i can't cry for too long while i'm talking to ryan...i can't wait to see him and the rest of my seattle boys in like 2.5 weeks!!

Saturday
Oct262002

reflection of cafe absinthei didn't go to my show. i'll just have to go to two shows tomorrow--uhm, i mean today--to make up for it. pete & sam came over to my apt. and we got a pizza and pete sampled my beer and i drank jack & coke and sam just drank coke and pete sampled my cds and sam read poetry and pete sampled my books and i downloaded the pixies and pete looked up every modest mouse website he could find and sam read magazines and we kept talking about going out and doing something but we didn't and then they left at around 1 and then i was alone again.



lamp in flowers lounge seattlenumb was the word for yesterday. freaked-out crazy is the word for tonight. i need something that will distract me between the hours of 1am and whenever i sleep which is usually around 3am. i need josh to move back to san francisco. i can't stand the eastern time zone.



i feel like astrally projecting myself out of my body except i don't know how. maybe all i need is a shot in the arm. something in my veins bloodier than blood. what i once was isn't what i want to be any more. fill my heart with smoke. just smile all the time. who knows anything. i don't know. it's just a dream i keep having. and it doesn't seem to mean anything.



yeah, it all comes back to summerteeth...god bless jeff tweedy and wilco...

Friday
Oct252002

alright. i've added pedro the lion photos from the april show @ the metro...click here if you are so inclined to view them. hopefully i'll get photo clearance for tomorrow's show so i'll get better pictures this time. i've also added a million new photos to my photos page, which is kinda like an online portfolio i guess. a lot of the added photos are from my blogger and were taken over the course of the past 8 months or so.



numb's the word...i have decided to go to every frickin' concert i can get into and see how long i can keep it up...that's how i coped w/ the month of april, and i met a lot of cool people...that's when i first saw ryan & jesse on stage @ the abbey...that's when i first saw neil halstead whose voice i am crazy in love with...that's when i first saw bill mallonee and met tim white...that's when i first saw pedro the lion and damien jurado, the last concert i saw before my dad passed away...



well, i've seen two shows this week, one which included a drive to milwaukee...tonight i have a photoshoot i have to do for a friend and then it's off to see the yeah yeah yeahs w/ the liars @ uhm shit where was that at...i gotta check...oh...the empty bottle...crap...i love the empty bottle but their lighting sucks.



i am not one to drink to get drunk and you can only smoke so many cigarettes before you wanna puke you entire innards (at least for me) so i will indulge my music addiction to numb that feeling i wanna numb the feeling of loss and helplessness and oh crap i can't even write about it cuz it brings those feelings up so i'm just gonna shut my trap now...i miss megan...maybe she's home by now...i miss ian...ryan...jesse...caleb...josh...bill...



dad...



what i listened to today:



"fly" by nick drake over and over and over and over again...it really is too hard for to fly, eh...