so yesterday rt and his friend mike who just moved back from new york and his girl carmel picked me up from work and we went to mike's parents' house way out in the boondocks for a bbq and bonfire...this was the first bbq i've ever been to where there was absolutely NO MEAT served!!! but we ate very well, believe me...we had veggie kabobs, veggie burgers, fresh pineapple and mango, chips & salsa, grilled sweet corn, and rt's very own home brewed beer...



after dinner, we played badminton, which i hadn't done since high school...i absolutely adore badminton...and just like volleyball, i can't hit the birdie without letting out a bloodcurdling scream...after badminton, rt & i threw the football around, and he noticed that my throwing improved noticeably after swinging a racquet for a good hour or so...it was really fun to be outdoors until late...although it did get considerably chilly...



after we wore ourselves out from badminton, as the sun disappeared and the sky removed its veil of daylight to expose the stars, the boys built a bonfire and we gathered around w/ a bunch of different percussion instruments and started beating out rhythms together...it was awesome sitting around that huge fire...everyone glowing orange...beats to match the exotic nature of a bonfire's flames...all we were missing were marshmallows...



my friend john called me this morning to wish me a happy early birthday because he was going to be out of town next weekend...in the course of our conversation, we were discussing whether i should make a career change or not, and he told me i should do it soon cuz i was gonna be 40 soon...i almost had a heart attack when he said that...i mean, i'm nowhere near 40 compared to some people, but i realize i'm closer to 40 now than i am to 20, and that is a scary thought indeed...this is getting depressing...

oh yeah, i almost forgot...last wednesday, rt and i did a bit of commemorating by going to the twisted spoke...this is a bar/restaurant where a lot of bikers like to hang out, esp. on the weekend...and not the kind of bikers that hang out @ the handlebar...these are the noisy polluting kind of bikers...i had never been there before, and it was pretty neat...the walls are covered w/ photos of what look like patrons on their bikes...and there's all kinds of bike and junk paraphanalia all over the restaurant...they make a pretty good falafel sandwich too...and a mean bloody mary with a helluva kick to it...



so last night, connolly, rt & i went to see my friend tony's one-man romantic comedy show @ the leadway...it was interesting to witness tony PERFORMING his stories on stage as opposed to hearing them in conversation sitting @ the bar or reading them in an AIM session, which is how we normally talk...all the stories pretty much confirmed that tony is a hopeless romantic...i haven't met too many males who fall into this category to be honest...



after the show, rt & i went to filter where we were meeting up w/ his friends from high school including his roommate mj...we all went to club foot on augusta and some of them played pool while the rest of us watched and drank beer...well, i wasn't drinking beer...i had a shot of southern comfort because the bar lacked both yukon jack and blackhaus...yeah, i like the sweet stuff...when we were leaving, much to our surprise, it was raining cats & dogs outside! but it was a warm night, and the rain was beautiful...although we did make rt run the 3 blocks to the car instead of all of us getting soaked...there is something just plain shimmeringly beautiful about an almost-summer night downpour...and that beauty is accentuated when you see people you care about gleeful like kids on christmas morn because they're reunited with decade old buddies...it really made me happy to see rt & mj enjoying themselves...



a funny aside...rt grabbed my lynyrd skynyrd 2-cd compilation a couple days ago, and he actually LISTENED to them...he said he played the beats yesterday and he enjoyed it...i can just see it now...rt drumming for a 3 guitar southern rock band...oh, yeah....



been listening to--

substance--new order

brief history of the 20th century--gang of four

harmacy--sebadoh



p.s. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIM!!!!

ok...so friday night i went to see my friend john roberts in measure for measure...i don't think rt had ever seen a shakespeare production live...he really liked it...after the show john invited us out bowling w/ another cast member...that other cast member turned out to be someone named eric that i went to college with...i didn't know him well but he had roomed at one point w/ a friend of mine and he knows my friend syler thomas...we went bowling @ timber lanes on irving park road by the lyon's den...it was a neat little bowling alley...just 7 or 8 lanes...not at all crowded on a friday night...$8 pitchers of miller light and $3 bowling games...not bad...we all had fun...it was great seeing john again, and eric was really nice...rt suffered all weekend from gripping the bowling ball so hard, but he had fun and would like to go bowling again...



i think my congestion is finally getting better...afrin is wondrous stuff...one dose of it cured rt's nasal congestion since friday...i'm taking a combo of afrin (which makes me sneeze), allegra (to control the sneezing) and sudafed for general nasal congestion...i'm going to the doctor this afternoon and i'll find out if i'm going to die or lose my sense of smell from this combo...



tonight, i'm going to see my friend tony in his one man romantic comedy show @ the lead way...oughta be fun...



been listening to--

blonde on blonde--bob dylan

loveless--my bloody valentine

double nickels on the dime--the minutemen

keep it like a secret--built to spill

feeling blue today...thought about my x for some weird reason...i think that relationship really left me feeling worthless...like why did he just let me leave? why didn't he think i was worth fighting for? i think that's what hurt me the most now that i look back on it...feeling that i gave nearly a decade of my life to someone who didn't think i was worth swallowing his pride for...



...and now i wonder if anyone will ever find me worth the effort...i know i'm no cake walk...i can be moody, noncommunicative, cold, an allround bitch...but i can still hear my old college pastor's wife telling me, 'sarah, you have to know your worth...' so do i know it now? some days i think i do...and other days like today, i haven't a clue...



my dad was the one man who could make me feel worth a damn...and over a year after i've lost him, i'm still trying to find what it was that he saw in me that was so special...



and right now, i'm pissed...i'm pissed at the cancer that took my dad away...i'm pissed that god let him get sick in the first place...i'm pissed that we live in a world where we learn to love only to lose what we love again and again and again...i'm pissed that i can't get my shit together like the responsible adult i should be...i'm pissed and i'm afraid...ah, yes...there goes the fear again...damn fear...always coming back and kicking me when i'm down...

ok...new reviews for watchers' debut cd 'to the rooftops'...i want everyone in america and the world to buy this album...why? so the label can hurry up and recoup their cost and the band (i.e. rt) can start collecting some R-O-Y-A-L-T-I-E-S!!!!



salon.com (you'll have to see an ad to get a free day pass to salon.com...just keep clicking next & the ad'll be over in 5 seconds)

newcitychicago.com

splendidzine.com

washingtonpost.com

chicago reader



and in case you missed the old reviews:



delusions of adequacy

live4now.com