...for brunch today teddy & i were going to go to chicago diner on roscoe & halstead, one of the best places in chicago for vegeterian dining...but as we were about to cross halstead from our car, i noticed a place i had never seen before, a cafe called hearty boys...it turns out they're a catering biz with a storefront cafe, and they serve breakfast all day long! the decor inside looked warm and inviting, so teddy & i thought, what the heck, let's try something new! i was actually drawn in by their mission statement stenciled on their front window: 'good stuff, not stiff, cute staff!' now how could you beat that? and they were true to their word indeed...i ordered an americano and teddy ordered the house blend, and we got them in these huge tall glasses! my americano was very good...they serve intelligentsia, of course, the coffee of choice here in chicagoland...the staff was indeed cute and very nice...teddy liked it that one of the staff would call me sweetie in this really nonthreatening manner, if you know what i mean (hint: we were in boy's town)...their menu wasn't terribly expensive (you could eat a whole breakfast anywhere from $4 to $9), and the coffee was good and cheap in my opinion, compared to the likes of starbucks or some other pricier coffeeshops...our food was yummy, and the overall dining experience was very pleasant...it was a cold gray moist november saturday outside, and it was lovely to be in the warm friendly surroundings inside the hearty boys...teddy & i highly recommend this place for breakfast or anytime of day for that matter...



...after our meal, we went shopping in the belmont/clark district...i was looking for a pair of mittens to replace the pair i destroyed by soaking them w/ gasoline during my little mishap when my little red subaru ran out of gas that snowy yucky day last march...those poor mittens were transformed into instant firestarters, so i didn't even try to wash them cuz i was afraid the gasoline would just get on my other clothes or whatever...anyways, it's been getting rather chilly in the windy city these past few days, so i needed another pair of mittens...we went to the architectural revolution, which is connected to the alley...they have all kinds of shit in this place...from s&m paraphernalia to wooden flowers to hackey sacks to silver jewelry...we spent a lot of time there, and i found some mittens that were kinda like my last ones, but i decided against it...we went over to ragstock instead, and i found my mittens there...i actually found the exact same pair that i'd turned into a fire hazard, but instead of those i got this pair of plain wool mittens lined w/ warm soft fleece...



...uhm ok i gotta run & meet connolly now...more later...

...i had some really wacky dreams last night...first i dreamed that denison came to town (which he is gonna do next tuesday) and he was playing a show @ subterranean by my apartment...i was complaining to him that he didn't have his tour dates on his website until the last minute (which he didn't)...and then i gave him a big hug and told him how much i loved his 'recovered' album, that i'd been listening to it over and over again and that he should be a covers artist (which makes no sense...i would never tell deni to just sing covers all the time!) and sing in karaoke bars and that he'd make a killing cuz he's so good...and then deni asks me whether he should be a UK covers artist or an american covers artist, which i really didn't have an answer for...



...and then all of a sudden i was on a moped (a pretty blue one!) riding beneath the belly of chicago's loop, except it didn't look anything like lower wacker drive, and there were these train tracks that you rode or drove on and you had to be careful because you had to share them with actual trains, and the signals to warn you of oncoming trains weren't really that good...so i'm riding my moped dodging these underground trains that aren's realy subways and i'm suddenly in the apartment that lielle & josh stayed in while she was doing magic flute @ the lyric almost 2 years ago, and i'm riding my moped through this apartment from the back porch, and the owners are home, and i just hope they don't notice me, and i sneak out the front, and i'm going down those long flights of stairs, and i think to myself that it seems higher up than it used to be and i notice that the carpet is now beige with blue stars and not green anymore...



...and i'm out the door riding my moped, wondering how long it will take me to get to teddy's apartment, and i'm wondering if it would be dangerous to get my cell phone out to call teddy and tell him i'm on my way...and i'm riding down devon and then south on clark, and i'm thinking i'm making pretty good time...



...and then i'm in another dream which is really a movie...i'm inside a ladies room and there are these dwarf women in there, and there are these other little women who are not exactly dwarves who are picking on the dwarf women, and then i'm a dwarf and trying to escape these women by crawling through the bathroom stalls and as i'm escaping, i notice one a normal sized woman and it's sigourney weaver and she's covered in blood sitting inside a stall, moaning...i run out of the bathroom, and i'm not a midget anymore, and there's this war going on, and i get caught by the bad guys and they force me and members of my family (suddenly my cuzin kris is with me as well as one of my aunts) to follow them through this structure that looks like grand central or union station or some other big train station like building...we are taken in a group to a place that has a window and all of a sudden, i see the sky is turning black, and there are these huge bombers flying over our heads, and i watch a burnt orange church steeple topple over like a toy building being thrown to the ground by an overly zealous child, and i see smoke and blackness everywhere, and i know the city is burning outside...



...ok...i think that's enough of that dream...



but seriously, denison's playing subterranean on tuesday nov 18th @ 8pm...sufjian stevens this goofball is opening up for him...be there...



been listening to--

only with laughter can you win--rosie thomas

summerteeth--wilco

ocean beach--red house painters

my friend and teacher of all things jesus and punk rawk left me this comment regarding my last last post, and i thought it was worth posting somewhere not so hidden away:



"isn't it amazing what ppl will do? wedding suicide attempts and all that. it makes you wonder if there was a world once when that stuff made a difference(ok mom, i won't do it. you must be right, and i must be totally wrong!), or if things have become so anti-commitment/family/stability etc. that previously sane ppl are now considering violent/manipulative ends in a vain gesture towards restoration of something that we've really lost...

it doesn't mean that wedding drama etc. is right, but it sure does echo of loss and pain not clownish intensity. maybe they are remembering some goodness that we traded away...a knowledge we traded along time ago, we bartered it off for these rags we call clothes. and we learned how to fake it and remake it on cue...(but Lord, i swear we never stopped needing You. let us remember...)



or...maybe the parents are just sad b/c they don't get to raise their kids anymore...its the merits of freud and darwin on mtv and they're drugged, laid, overpaid, so beautiful, so deadly boring...



what has become of our fortunes? let our eyes be reopened to see the inhabitation of God in the world...



let us remember."



yeah...my comment about korean parents threatening to commit suicide @ their kids' weddings is based on a true story...my friend's parents really did threaten to commit a double suicide at his wedding if he married "that girl" who, to them, didn't come from a good enough family...they got over it after the first grandkid (grandkids will smooth over ANYTHING in the korean family)...i don't know if his wife ever got over the feelings of inadequacy and insecurities she must have felt at her in-laws' rejection...



the reality of today's family is dysfunction and brokenness and distance and absence...i want to think that i had a happy family life, but the reality is that we were fucked up too, just like so many other families, pastor's kid or not...i think most of us are ready and willing to admit to the messiness that is our families...but what to do about it? i know i don't communicate with my mother and brother the way i should...i know that what my mother really wants from me is acceptance and affection and acknowledgment, free gifts i withhold because i am afraid of being close to her...



there has got to be a way to break the cycle of dysfunction, and yet i find myself powerless...



like caleb said, i too need to see "the inhabitation of god in this world..."

check this out...beatle bob and gbv...together on video forever...god bless beatle bob....

...it's sad but true...i must bid adieu...after over 7 years...to my big hairy roommate...my cat aberdeen is moving out to the burbs cuz he's got himself some gainful employment...one of my x's student's moms needs a mouser, and abbey loves chasing mice, so he'll be packing up and shipping out by this weekend...teddy was sad when i told him the news, but it has to be done...my apartment is just way too tiny...abbey's grown quite attached to teddy over the months...he always did have a bit of a gay streak in him...always prefered goodlooking boys to a mere female such as myself...



...it had been a while since i'd heard from bruce (my x)...sounds like he & ellie are doing really well...her dad even invited him out to korea for the holidays...that means it's pretty much a done deal that they view him as their future son-in-law...good for him...it's a lot better than when her parents were threatening to disown her if she had anything to do with him...korean parents...they're always threatening to come to your wedding & commit suicide or something...the ultimate drama kings and queens...



...in the nervewracking news department, my mom went in yesterday for a biopsy...her last mammogram revealed something strange, and the doctors want to examine her further...we'll find out the results of the biopsy tomorrow, but for now, i don't know what to think...no use worrying yet...i've always wondered in the back of my mind what it would be like if my mom got terminally ill...at least with my dad, i had my mom...but if i had to care for my mom on my own, i just don't know if i could handle it...i don't even wanna think about it...



been listening to--

under the same stars--the prom

mercury--american music club

recovered--denison witmer

rehearsals for departure--damien jurado

it's hard to find a friend--pedro the lion

our constant concern--mates of state

burning my travels clean--rocky votolato

sleeping on roads--neil halstead

s/t--owen

perfumed letter--bill mallonee

you are free--cat power