alrighty then...



teddy & i moved into our swanky new couple's pad yesterday...it was nuts...dave & ellen moved monday, and then teddy moved yesterday morning...he only had dave helping him out, and i needed the truck by 2pm for my movers, so i ended up having to go help them unload at the new place...i kinda flipped out monday cuz i was so overwhelmed by all the crap i needed to pack, and i sent out an s.o.s. to my mom...she & my brother jim came to the rescue and took over my packing...my mom is like way overly protective cuz she's afraid i'll have a miscarriage...



anyways...i'm at my old apartment right now waiting for ted to get here to help me clean out this place...i helped him clean his apartment this morning before he went to work, and i've been cleaning my apartment for the past 3 hours, and i'm just about ready to roll up into fetal position and suck my thumb...so i've decided to take advantage of the free wireless internet in this here apartment one last time, and i'm just gonna sit on my ass and do nuthin' until teddy gets here...and then i still intend on doing nothing cuz i frickin' swept, vacuumed and mopped HIS apartment before i swept, vacuumed & mopped MY apartment...



to top things off, i ordered this veggie pizza from the congress pizzeria down on milwaukee ave, and it's got all this stuff that makes me wanna puke on it...i thought veggie pizza, okay, tomatoes, onions, green peppers, mushroom, maybe some olives...but THEIR veggie pizza is broccoli, spinach, black & green olives and FRENCH FRIES...like ok...whatever...ever since i got pregnant, cooked broccoli makes me wanna puke, and who ever heard of french fries on a pizza??? so i still have pretty much an entire pizza sitting in my kitchen...and i'm hungry....



i have to go back to work tomorrow...i'll be lucky if i can walk...at least it's only a 15 minute drive from my mom's to work...another nice thing about living at my mom's for a while is that she totally pampers me...normally, it drives me nuts but i need it right now cuz lord knows i'm under a lot of stress these days...



in other news, ian moore was in town and played two shows this weekend...he was so excited to hear that teddy & i were getting married and having a baby...ian's talked to me a lot about being a dad, and i can tell that fatherhood totally changed his life, so it was really special to be able to share that news with him...at his show @ schuba's, he did alejandro's 'wedding day' and dedicated it to me & ted...it was cool cuz when i first found out i was pregnant and teddy & i decided to get married, that next day at work, i listened to this bootleg of ian doing that song over and over and over again...i had wanted him to sing that song that night at schuba's but i didn't say anything to him before the show...so it was really cool that he did that even without me asking...if i were to have a big wedding, i was gonna ask caleb to learn that song and play it at the wedding...



ian also did a show @ uncommon ground on sunday night which was totally awesome...it's such a small space and so intimate...it was a real treat...it was so awesome to see him & chris dye again...they've both been so good to me & teddy...and this was the first time they actually spent a couple days here, so we got to hang out and have lunch and stuff too...even though i only get to see ian a couple times a year, it means a lot to me to be able to share what going on in my life...he's been supportive through some rough times, so it's great to now have him share in some joyful times...



anyways, that's about it for now...teddy's gonna be here any minute...hopefully with some food...

...you may wonder why i am posting a picture of a camel here...well, i have my reasons, and i will get to them...



...the reason this blog has been bare--barely read and barely updated--as of late is that i've been very much occupied with other things, and i am going to reveal what other things there possibly could be that would keep me from updating my beloved here journal...but first, i gotta go tell my friend olarn before he finds out on this blog cuz he'd kill me if he heard it from my blog first...



...ok...done...



...so the big gargantuan news of the century is that teddy & i are having a baby! yes, it's crazy but it's true! i am just getting over my first trimester, which is what i wanted to get through before i announced it to the world here...it came as a shock to me, cuz my gynecologist had told me in my 20s that i if i ever wanted to get pregnant, i'd have to take fertility drugs...well, i guess not cuz here i am all bloated and nauseous and PREGNANT!!!



...so the camel...well, teddy & i went to lincoln park zoo last saturday when it was a beautiful 1st day of spring, and he formally proposed to me on a park bench...not by the camel...that was just the only photo i took that day...i knew he was gonna propose to me cuz we'd picked up the ring the day before, but still...it was lovely...



...we're gonna have a tiny wedding with our family the end of april and then the reception for our friends will be in june...quite frankly, it's been terribly stressful lately...i mean, being pregnant is a major shock to the system as it is, but having to tell our families--you know, ted's ultra-strict catholic parents and my little fundamentalist momma--that nearly killed us both i think...



...it's been a rollercoaster ride, and i'm not just talking about the nausea...the hardest part has been not having my dad around to comfort me and tell me it's all going to be okay, like he did when i announced to my family i was leaving the church and getting divorced from bruce...my dad was the only one who remained calm and told me i was going to be just fine...there have been times in the past month when i felt that i've needed my dad like i've never needed him before, and even now i just break down and cry if i think about it...teddy is doing his best to fill my daddy's shoes, but they're pretty big shoes to fill, you know? but i love him for trying and for understanding, and he comforts me the best he can, and he does a pretty good job, actually...



...i have a little tiny miracle growing inside my belly, and it's still hard to believe...we had our first ultrasound a couple weeks ago, and i half-expected there to be nothing on the screen...but sure enough, there was the little peanut with a tiny little heart pitter-pattering away at 180 beats/minute! you can see a photo right here...it's not very clear, but there's a little baby in there somewhere...



...my mom is getting more and more excited as the days pass...she spent some time alone w/ teddy, and she told me she was assured of his commitment and love for me and the baby, which put her heart at peace...other friends of the family, like daniel & esther shin and rebekah yoon who are not just friends but like 2nd & 3rd parents to me, have offered so much support emotionally and practically...i talked to my uncle, kris's dad, and i told him how much i miss my dad, and he told me how he and his brothers wished they could take his place...he told me they just want me to be happy and to feel free to come to them if i needed anything...



...it's still scary, thinking about the days and years to come...the responsibilities of parenthood and marriage are serious...but they are an honor to be cherished as well...i believe that teddy & i have established in our relationship the foundations for a beautiful and loving family filled with joy and laughter and creativity...we'll make mistakes, but we'll learn from them instead of being crippled by them...and we're gonna have some good times, that's for sure!



...so yeah, that's the news, and now that it's all out in the open, i'll actually have stuff to talk about here...



...for those of you who are finding out about this for the first time, please don't be insulted if you think i should've told you personally...there's something about being pregnant and having a wedding to plan in a month that makes you not wanna do anything else...it's nothing personal, folks...i love you all, really i do...anyways, feel free to drop me a line if you have questions...



...ciao!

...i'm gonna sing a song now so bear with me...



HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR TEDDY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!



...yes, today is my teddy's bday...he is a whopping 27 years old! we celebrated yesterday with his family by going out to leona's in wicker park for pizza and pool...i think i'm a better video bowler than a pool player, except when teddy tells me exactly how and where to aim my shot...then i usually do pretty good...



...today, i talked to my dear friend megan in iowa city whom i haven't seen in a gazillion years...we had a lot to catch up on...she's coming home for spring break next week, and i'm finally gonna meet her boyfriend JT which i'm excited about...i miss the times megan & i would have going to shows or to seattle or just hanging out...i hope she gets a job in chicago so i can get to see more of her...



teal pheal (phil) came over for dinner to celebrate teddy's birthday tonight...i didn't cook...i didn't even get home until 9pm cuz i worked late...teddy made pasta with meatless meatballs from trader joe's, and it was mighty tasty...the boys went out to a bar to grab a beer and maybe some pool (teddy loves pool!), so i'm here relaxing before i turn in early for the night...



...speaking of birthdays, it's my blog's 2 year anniversary...yup...exactly two years ago today was when i started keeping track of my life on this online forum...i know it ain't much to look at these days, but just you wait...i will have plenty of stuff to divulge in a few weeks...for now, just deal with the suspense...

...holy cow it's bare around here...i'm sure i've lost all my regular readers by now, so hello, new reader! welcome to my currently sparse and boring blog!



...just in case there's someone reading this who's actually a regular, i have a perfectly good explanation for my absence around here...i just can't share it right now at this time...but i'm back somewhat, so at least those of you who actually care about me know that i'm alive as opposed to not alive...



...i have been severely negligent in the photo/concert department, and for that i am sorry but it can't be helped right now...i did take some photos of annie quick at her dress rehearsal show @ the leadway a couple weeks ago...you can go see those photos right here...annie is playing @ the empty bottle this sunday night as part of her cd release/bigger tour...c'mon out and say hi...she totally rocks, esp. w/ jonny boy from the detholz! playing bass with her...



...alright...that's it for now...i'm gonna have to ease back into this thing, ya know...outta practice man...

in case anyone's wondering, i'm still alive...i've been incredibly busy...more later...