Cadence *Hearts* Flannel Part Deaux

I was a bit rushed in yesterday's post, and I'd like to explain myself a little better. Ted and I had an eye-opening experience at a party a little over a month ago. It was a birthday party for Aunt Becki, Dave's fiancé. Most of the guests at the party were her classmates from grad school, so Cadence was the only kid. Everyone was super nice to her and kept saying over and over again just "how cute!" she was or "how beautiful!" or "how adorable!" It's not so much that we don't agree with those statements, but hearing it over and over again at that party made us wonder whether Cadence was internalizing this and if so, what effect that would have on her self-image and where she derives her sense of self-worth in the long run.

Ted shared with me his own experience of growing up and hearing over and over from his (mainly female) relatives that he was so handsome or so cute, and how that made him feel self-conscious and damaged his self-esteem. You would think that kids would like hearing that they're good-looking, but I think when that's ALL a kid hears, they may start questioning whether that's all they're good for, and I believe that Ted may have experienced that to a certain degree. Also, I think that the research on the negative effects of praise and rewards would back me up on this.

I don't think that it's wrong to dress up your kid in cute outfits or to enjoy hearing people compliment them on their looks. What I don't want to do, however, is to just sit on the sidelines and let Cadence be enticed by a society that places so much emphasis on external beauty with standards so brutal that the average jane can only get depressed after 5 minutes of thumbing through one issue of Seventeen. I don't want Cadence to grow up needing external praise from other people to feel good about herself. I don't want Cadence to be conditioned to value other people based on THEIR external appearances alone. Instead, my hope is that she will see the beauty in herself and in others in characteristics such as compassion, kindness, generosity, justice, courage, honesty, simplicity and humor, and that she will be motivated by an internal sense of what is right and good and just, and not be a slave to external praise or criticism.

Cadence *Hearts* Flannel

I know that as the parent of a girl, one big temptation is to dress your daughter up as if she's your personal doll 24/7. Just walk into any Baby Gap or Old Navy, and you'll see that the options for girls are so much more enticing than for boys. I've recently become acutely aware of many people paying attention only to Cadence's outward appearance. I guess it's only natural, since most folks think that parents always want to hear how cute their kid is. And of course I enjoy hearing these kinds of compliments; I wouldn't be plastering the internet with her photos if I didn't. At the same time, though, I also don't want Cadence to grow up thinking that the most important thing in life is for her to look "cute" or "pretty" or that her main value as a girl or woman is to look good for other people.

Fact is, Cadence is about as active and playful and rambunctious as any boy her age I've seen. I was raised in a family that believed that girls should be quiet and gentle and that they don't grow up to be certain things, like, say, a photographer for National Geographic. I don't want to place those kinds of limits on Cadence.

I admit that sometimes it's really hard to let Cadence pick her own outfit, when I'd really like to take her out and about in that adorable dress, but she's rather run and jump and climb in a flannel shirt and jeans.

And even when she DOES wear something a bit more on the girly side, I hope she'll always be comfortable enough in her own skin to just be her goofy, lovely self.

I *Heart* My New Camera

It's true, folks. I've broken down and gone the digital SLR route. Although I've gotten some sweet shots with various digital point 'n' shoots over the years, nothing beats the speed and depth of field capabilities of an SLR, and I really missed hearing the click-click-click of a REAL camera.

So what did I end up getting? I stayed true to my Nikon roots and got the D40. It's about the cheapest digital SLR you can get, considering you get the body PLUS the 18-55mm lens for under $550. In addition, I got the new 55-200mm f/4.5-5.6G ED AF-S VR DX Zoom Nikkor lens for $240. The VR stands for Vibration Reduction, and when you're zooming at that rate, it really helps, esp. if you don't use a tripod (which I don't). Add to that the tiny yet functional Nikon SB-400 speedlight for $110, and that's pretty much my kit.

While on first look, there is nothing spectacular about this photo, which was one of the first photos I took with my new camera, the thing to notice is that I captured Cadence in mid-air quite easily because as soon as I press the shutter button, the photo is taken. No more waiting a whole second for the camera to finally take the photo, which is usually a half-second too late. I totally love the instant gratification this provides me.

I am also loving my new speedlight. I am able to tilt the flash head upwards so that the light bounces off the ceiling. This gives a flash photo a more natural light look to it. Now I don't have to wait for the light to be *just right* to take some decent photos, although I do still prefer natural light. Always have, and always will.

I'm still getting used to the new equipment, so it'll be a while before I get the kind of photos I'm aiming for. It's been rainy these past couple days, so I haven't had the chance to get out as much as I'd like.

I can already tell, though, that I'll be wanting to take a LOT more photos and of things other than Cadence in the future with my new set-up.

See? I've already expanded my subject to include flowers.

And raindrops on grass blades.

Best Shot(s) Monday--Spring!

We've got spring fever here in the Windy City. It's been a cold, wet winter and we as a collective metropolis plan on WILLING spring into reality.

C'mon, Spring. How can you say no to a face like that? Admit it. Resistance is futile.

Go visit Tracey's Picture this for more folks' Best Shots Monday.

Best Shot(s) Monday--All About Style

We're not much about fashion in our household, but we did have some fun this weekend with some funky sunglasses and an outfit I absolutely adore. I don't have much time to elaborate, as I'm on a vacation day and we've got stuff to do, so I'll just post my favorite photos from this weekend.

She looks so serious here that it's almost funny.

My favorite smile of the weekend. I like how she's looking off to the side and not directly into the camera.

And here is my favorite outfit ever. The t-shirt was a thrift store find that I absolutely adore. I wish I could get away with wearing Baby Legs and a pleated denim mini-skirt.

And here's a cute one with Daddy. They look like best buddies!

Go see other folks' Best Shots at Tracey's Picture This.