Best Shot(s) Monday--The Sunday Edition

I know I'll be way too busy tomorrow to post since I plan on working through lunch, so here are my best shots of the week.

This one is especially for my good friend Amy (Rudden's mom), who couldn't be at church w/ us today. I told Rudden to let me take a few photos of him for Mother's Day, and this is one of my favorites.

I really love this shot of Rudden and Cadence. I know it's really similar to another shot taken of them in the exact same place, but I still find it irresistible.

There's something about this photo too that I just love. I really enjoy observing these two's friendship. Cadence doesn't have a lot of friends, and Rudden is definitely the one she's spent the most time with. They squabble and fight like two siblings would, but I've also witnessed some tender moments in which they expressed genuine concern for the other. Seeing Cadence care for and delight in her little friends has been one of the greatest joys of motherhood.

Speaking of which, it's been a cold and wet and windy Mother's Day here in Chicago. We were going to go out to my mom's in the burbs for dinner, but she's not feeling well, so we're opting for Thai delivery and staying in where it's warm and dry.

There's a lot I could say about motherhood, about the joys, the heartaches, the excitement, the mundane, the hopes, the worries...Mainly, though, I'm full of amazement, even after several years of motherhood under my belt. Watching Cadence emerge as her own little person and being such a big part of her life have been more incredible than I could've ever imagined.

Happy Mother's Day to me and to all the moms out there.

You can see more folk's Best Shot's on Tracey' Mother May I.

Truthiness Tuesday--The Unpainted Me

There's a new Flickr group called Self-Portrait Truthiness and it's all about posting photos of ourselves in our bare skin. The idea brought back memories of my dad who was not a fan of make-up and who would always emphasize the importance of cultivating inner beauty, and not focusing on what I looked like on the outside. I have to admit that at the time, all I could think about was that all my friends got to wear make-up and I didn't and how I couldn't wait to be old enough to do what I wanted so I could wear some damn eye-liner and lipstick.

So I grew up to be the type of person who wouldn't go out in public without doing her makeup. I remember going camping with a bunch of my friends in my mid-twenties, and early in the morning, I was sitting at a picnic table looking into a mirror and curling my lashes, and I could sense some of my friends staring at me, and I declared, "Don't judge me." When I went on a week-long canoe trip w/ my friend John, he forbade me from wearing makeup on the trip, the thought of which horrified me at the time, but I think I managed to sneak in my eyelash curler.

Now that I'm a mother, I'm coming to terms with the values regarding outward beauty that I want to pass on to Cadence, which are surprisingly similar to what my dad tried to convey to me, although I won't forbid her from wearing makeup if that's what she chooses. This means that I will have to become comfortable in my own bare skin, so that she sees that you can be beautiful and feel beautiful without the aid of cosmetics or the latest fashions.

Honestly, I think that some of the most beautiful women I've ever seen are those who don't wear any makeup, even if their faces are weathered and wrinkled. If I can acknowledge the beauty and grace in the pure naked faces of other women, surely I can do the same for myself.

Three Thoughts Thursday #3

#1—I've been missing the Rock 'n' Roll lifestyle lately. Maybe it's the whole turning 35 thing. Maybe I'm just stupid. Whatever the reason, I've determined to start going to more shows. Granted, if I get to see 3 shows in a year, that would qualify as MORE, but I was thinking more along the lines of at least twice a month. Holy shit. That sounds like a lot.

Anyhoo, I've got this lovely new camera that I'm dying to use on Chicago's best-lit venues, so who better to call upon than my dear friends Derek Becker of Satellite Booking and the Detholz! It just so happens that the 'Holz are headlining the I-Go Audio Emissions CD Release Party at the Metro tonight. I asked Derek if I could get a media pass so I could shoot photos, and he was nice enough to put me on the guestlist AND get me a media pass! The Metro happens to have my favorite lights in the city, so I'm really excited about the show tonight. And my friend Miss Mia of Chic-a-go-go is hosting the show, so I hope she tells all the tall folks to get the hell out of my way! Stay tuned for the photos…

#2—Speaking of the Detholz! show, I am hopefully going to get to meet someone at the show whose blog (erg, actually her Myspace page) I've been lurking on for a few months, and who it turns out has also been lurking on my blog! HA HA! That gets me a-thinkin' about the power of the Internet to establish relationships between folks who would otherwise be too shy to express their mutual admiration for one another in person. It also shows how the Internet brings out the inner stalker in all of us. I totally admit to that one.

#3—Cadence is growing up so fast. No, really. It's become more noticeable in just the past week or so. She's actually occasionally rational now. I can say to her, "We can't eat cookies for breakfast, but you can have an apple or an apricot," and she'll actually choose one of the latter two without argument 5% of the time. Or when I come home and she demands a nursing session right away, I can now say to her, "We'll do ma-ma-ma (her word for nursing) after I pee and change into something more comfortable (e.g., sans bra), and she'll actually say, "Okay."

Then again, she did have that screaming session yesterday evening about something I can't even remember, and I had to plug my ears or totally seriously risk hearing loss. It was flippin' loud, folks. I don't see how she's not deaf herself.

But still, overall I'm noticing that when I can't give her what she wants, as long as I get down on her level and give her some sort of explanation in a gentle, empathic voice, she'll resort to screaming in retaliation much less than she used to.

She's also beginning to understand aspects of the bigger world outside our little family. It kind of shocked me the other day when we were talking about church, and she tilts her head, nodding it up and down, and says, "Blbublaubl God? Blbublaubl Eesus?" Wow. So she knows that going to church has something to do with God and Jesus. Up to this point, she always associated church with Rudden (her best friend and baby love) and her other friends. And Matt the pianist whom we pick up every Sunday.

And then when we were at my cousin's house on Tuesday night, Baby Eden was propped up on her boppy while we were eating, and she started crying. Cadence was next to her, and looking really concerned, she says to me, "Blbublaubl wanna ah-zhoo!" No, she wasn't sneezing. Ah'-zhoo is her word for "be held." She knew that the baby wanted to be held and was alerting us to that fact.

So yeah, she's becoming spiritual AND compassionate. Totally growing up so fast.

Real Moms Meme

I've been tagged by the lovely and every-so-talented Tracey Clark for the awesome Real Moms Meme started by Kristen.

It took me a while to think of something to fill in the "Real Moms _________." Mainly, because so many people have already taken my potential answers. So after a few hours of pondering and a couple of google searches cuz I hates being redundant, here's what I'm going with:

Real Moms Need Each Other.

And by each other, I mean other Real Moms.

There are so many experiences that are universal to motherhood, especially First Time Motherhood. You can read about pregnancy and birth and newborn care and parenting until you're blue in the face (or zonked out from boredom), but until you actually talk to another mom who's Been There Done That and Lived to Tell About It, there's a part of you that won't believe any of it. The phrase shouldn't be It Takes A Village To Raise A Child. It should be It Takes A Village of Real Moms To Keep A Mom From Crossing Over The Brink Of Insanity--So That She Can Raise A Child.

Sadly, we in Western culture don't live in villages anymore. Those of us in big cities don't even have the advantage of the town gossip who at least lets everyone else know what your troubles are. If it weren't for the internet, many of us wouldn't have even ONE other mom to relate to.

But the need to connect is still there. Real Moms Need Each Other. So many of us parent with guilt and insecurities and feel like failures. We need to hear that it's normal to not like your kid occasionally. We need to hear that it's okay if your kid won't eat anything but cheerios today (and tomorrow and the day after that). We need to hear that it's okay to have that cocktail/beer/vodka. We need to hear that we're not failures because we couldn't give birth naturally/breastfeed/cloth diaper/get our babies to sleep through the night/wean/potty train/learn their ABCs. We need to hear that we are not alone, and we need to hear it from other Real Moms.

I'm tagging all y'all mamas, many of you who've been there for me, keeping me real.