Love Thursday--Finding Family

It's Love Thursday on Shutter Sisters, folks, and here's my submission. This is Cadence with her BFF Rudden. These two have been friends since before Cadence could walk, and their devotion to each other is deep and wide. Just try separating them when it's time to go home, and you'll know what I mean.

Rudden's mom is my very good friend Amy. She has been a source of strength and encouragement to me over the past couple of years, and I am so grateful for her friendship. We are learning together how to find family and community among people who were once strangers.

Last night, we did this by gathering together at our church and sharing a meal. We hope to do this regularly so that we may deepen relationships and spur one another on, whether it's to dismantle our fears or to share hope and love or to share in traditions old and new.

The simple act of taking time out from our hectic lives to cook and eat together, or to wash dishes together, or to play together--I believe these are things that will help me find family. And I am so blessed to have landed amongst a group of folks who are characterized by their arms open wide, just like their hearts, who delight in conspiracies of hope and love, who are overflowing with creativity, who make me happy simply to be...

Go soak in more love on Love Thursday at Shutter Sisters.

Happy 2008! And Welcome!

Welcome to the new domain, y'all! This is my first official post on shutterbugmama.com! Hope you guys are as bright-eyed and bushy tailed as Cadence on this first day of 2008.

We had the most boring New Year's Eve possible in our home. Ted and I both had headaches (his was beer-induced, mine was a migraine) all day. Poor Cadence had to fend for herself. I had wanted to take her downtown on the train (it's what she wanted), but my headache didn't go away until around midnight (just in time for 2008!). We stayed in and watched The Straight Story, which is a sweet movie and all, but about the most boring movie you can watch on New Year's Eve. Yeah. We're a dull bunch around here.

That's alright, though. We had enough excitement on Sunday night when we hosted a chili party for (mainly) our Berry Church friends. It was so exciting I didn't take any photos pretty much the whole night, unfortunately. Actually, I kind of feel stupid taking photos at parties, probably because I hate having my own photo taken, but my friend Amy tells me that most folks like seeing photos of themselves afterwards, so now I regret not taking more photos.

Anyhoo, we had around 40 people show up, and Ted made JUST enough chili. It was a lot of fun, and of course the homebrew flowed like we were in the Promised Land. Cadence had a blast, as her friends Fischer, Ada, Rudden and Baby Jack were there, and I was happy because their PARENTS were there. I wish I had taken photos. Did I say that already? Oh well. Next time.

There's a fresh layer of snow on the ground calling our names to be turned into angels, so I gots to go now. Have a wonderful 2008, everyone!

This One's for Modrá J.

This little photo is for Modrá J. He'll understand. No one else has to.

"Now--here is my secret: I tell it to you with an openness of heart that I doubt I shall ever achieve again, so I pray that you are in a quiet room as you hear these words. My secret is that I need God--that I am sick and can no longer make it alone. I need God to help me give, because I no longer seem to be capable of giving; to help me be kind, as I no longer seem capable of kindness; to help me love, as I seem beyond being able to love.

I walk deeper and deeper into the rushing water. My testicles pull up into myself. the water enters my belly button and it freezes my chest, my arms, my neck. It reaches my nouth, my nose, my ears and the roar is so loud--this roar, this clapping of hands.

These hands--the hands that heal; the hands that hold; the hands we desire because they are better than desire.

I submerge myself in the pool completely. I grab my knees and I forget gravity and I float within the pool and yet, even here, I hear the roar of water, the roar of clapping hands.

These hands--the hands that care, the hands that mold; the hands that touch the lips, the lips that speak the words--the words that tell us we are whole."--From Life After God by Douglas Coupland, 1994.

(I've had this post as a draft from Sept. 30th. I thought now would be a good time to post it. I added the quote today because I had just reread it a couple days ago, and I love that passage so very much. It's part of my unraveling, just a little bit. Know that you are loved, Modrá.)