well i have the day off today and monday so that i can PACK and MOVE and let me tell ya i'd rather be at WORK--that's how much i hate packing. actually, i'd rather be out on a photo shoot...haven't done an outdoor one in a while...really need to get to the botanic gardens...

anyways, that's why i'm giving myself the rest of the month of march to fully move in, because i know i'll never get done otherwise. luckily, i don't have too much to actually transport--the girl who was living in the apartment before me is selling me all her stuff for like really really cheap--which is totally excellent because the apartment is an attic apartment of a 3 story building and i don't want to carry too much stuff up and down 3 flights of stairs (and neither do my friends). i'm taking my clothes, photos, cds, books & laptop basically.

i am excited to be moving to bucktown in chicago. it's a pretty high energy neighborhood, and there's lots of diversity. i've been wanting to do more urban photography, so this is perfect. the blue line (el) is right there, and the metra's less than a mile from my apartment. all the crowds can get old after awhile, but wicker park's just a few blocks away. there's a dog park there, and i like watching all the dogs unleashed running around yapping away happy as pigs in mud. some of the side streets are quiet and lined with colorful old historic mansions that look like they belong in a movie about haunted houses. the double door and the note are both within walking distance, and uncommonground cafe is only a couple miles away too. the congress theatre is just a few blocks northwest, and that's where belle & sebastian are playing in may, if only i could get tickets...

the past couple of days i've had this reoccurring nagging observation in the back of my mind that i haven't seen the moon in a while. tonight, as i was driving home from work, that nagging observation unexpectedly flung me into a momentary total lapse of reason, and for several moments, i truly believed that the moon had fallen out of her orbit around the earth. i searched the night sky but only saw planes entering landing patterns into o'hare. it was only for maybe 15 seconds that i had this crazy thought, but for those 15 seconds, i literally felt panicked because i didn't know how i could go on without the moon. it then occured to me that we may be in a new moon phase, or maybe the moon has been rising after i fall asleep (not likely considering my sleep habits), and i calmed down. but i did realize that i miss my dear old friend the moon very much, and i felt bad that i always write about the stars and how much i love them but hardly ever mention the moon, and how much i love her too. i've even complained about the moon being out on nights when i want just the starlight. shame on me...i will try not to take the moon for granted anymore.



next thing i know, i'll start thinking the sun's disappeared...



"i saw it written and i saw it say, pink moon is on its way, and none of you stand so tall, pink moon gonna get you all, it's a pink moon, it's a pink, pink, pink, pink, pink moon." ~ pink moon by nick drake

i think that a really good way to finish off a weekend is to go flying. and so i did!!! josh took me up for my third ride in a cessna. lielle & i had to sit in the backseat this time so that my cousin kris who has never been up in a little plane could have the full experience from the front. that's okay--josh says the photos opps are better from the back anyway; less obstackles to deal with.



i was a bit concerned on saturday that we wouldn't be able to go up on sunday because the winds were ripping it at >40 mph (35 knots/hr) which is a bit choppy for a little cessna to have to deal with. josh has flown at over 30 knots/hr before, but that was under tsunami conditions on okinawa and i don't think it was his choice. luckily, the winds died down by sunday, the clouds dissipated and we were left with sunny no ceiling conditions and only 15 mph winds (which is still a bit choppy but much more manageable than 40).



you know, i don't much like the experience of flying in a big commercial airplane, but i absolutely love riding the little planes! there was some light turbulence that made it feel like we were on a roller coaster at times--not too bad; i was hoping josh would do some sharp banks and turns, but i think he was being safe for my cousin's sake. although we found out later that she was hoping he'd do some acrobatics, which you really can't do in a cessna 172 unless you fully intend to die. i'll have to find an acrobatic flying club for kris to get a taste of some real G's & vertigo.



i have always had a fascination with flying. i remember as a little girl when i was supposed to be sleeping, i'd be lie awake pretending to be flying all over the world. granted, in my little-girl fantasy world, i didn't need any wings to fly, just the desire. and although i still wish i could fly just by wanting it bad enough, reality checks nudge me towards looking into various man-made aids for flight.



then there is my dream life. sometimes i pray to dream that i'm flying like a bird, because your dreams can feel so real, it's almost as good as real life. actually, in some ways i think it's better because you can do all kinds of crazy things and still wake up in the morning in one piece. i know that i've had physical sensations in my dreams such as vertigo that were so real that when i woke up, i had to question whether it actually was a dream or not.



listening to nick drake right now. . . his songs make me so emotional for some reason. i think i'll always associate nick's songs with november 2001, which was kind of a milestone month for me. of course, in the grand scheme of things, i may someday look back and wonder what all the fuss was about, but for now it's hard to look back when there's so much i'm dealing with in the here and now, and then there's the future which keeps overtaking me before i'm ready. . .



"please give me a second grace, please give me a second face, i've fallen far down, first time around, now i just sit on the ground in your way. now if it's time to recompense for what's done, come, come sit down on the fence in the sun, and the clouds will roll by, and we'll never deny, it's really too hard for to fly. please show me your second game, please tell me your second name, i've fallen far down, first time around, now i just sit on the ground in your way. so come, come ride in my merry-car by the bay, for now i must know how fine you are in your way, and the sea, she will sigh, but i’ll never deny it's really too hard for to fly." ~ fly by nick drake (time of no reply version)

lazy saturday afternoon...little tiny itty bitty snowflakes dancing around outside look like so many sea monkeys swimming through the air. hard to believe that i was roaming the streets of chicago less than 15 hours ago with no jacket on, and now it's cold enough to be actually snowing. so goes life in the windy city. a balmy 55 for march one day, below freezing wind chills the next.



i am still emotionally buoyant from having seen denison live in concert (twice--to make up for the time i missed him last september!) and having had the chance to meet him & take photos of him & the 6 parts 7 guys in action. an evening of live music with your favorite artist is definitely my idea of a friday evening well spent.



tonight will be a quiet evening at josh's w/ the old high school gang. josh has a melon ball with my name on it that's been waiting for me for a couple weeks now, if he hasn't drunk it himself. i think i will retire early tonight. . . sometime before 2am would be good i'd say.

ok. i realize that it is the middle of the night, and i've had so little time with my pillow the past several days that it's probably forgotten my name by now, but i have my reasons for still being up. i went to denison's show at schuba's tonight and took a ton of pictures, which i'm sifting through right now. i have decided that my nikon coolpix was an excellent investment, although i still haven't figured out the manual settings. i'm so glad i had my camera in time for denison's shows. i had a lot of fun taking the pictures. it's great because i don't have to use the flash even in low light situations. i really dislike using the flash, esp. on performers.

there is an incredible storm brewing out there--the winds must be gusting at > 30 knots. the sound of the rushing wind outside is like that of crashing waves on the ocean beach. it's kind of eerie at this hour. it sounds like a really lonely giant. there is some major convective activity going on in the skies tonight. i'd hate to be a plane out there right now.