3 movie tickets--$0.00 (courtesy of gene); hot chocolate, 1 small coffee, 2 large coffees, bagel & 2 cookies at the dunkin donuts--<$15.00 (but free for me courtesy of connolly); warm fuzzy feelings derived not from the coffee but from heart to heart conversation with 2 good friends at 2 in the morning--priceless...
something there is about the wee hours of the night that puts me in a tender, sentimental mood. as i sat across from connolly and olarn at the dunkin donuts i couldn't help feeling a gentle flow of affection for both of them. i know that i have a place with them where i belong, where i'm safe. as we talked tonight about the intricate nature of navigating through relationships and the fears and insecurities we face, i felt at peace and at rest knowing that i had company on what to me has been one hell of a treacherous journey.
and i thought about josh moving out of state, and how much i'm going to miss him. and i thought about how much i respect him for choosing to love and seeing it through in his life, because i didn't have the strength to make that same choice in my own life. there is something to be said for being and staying friends with those who can remember you from when you were still a child, even if you lose touch with them for long stretches of time. i didn't realize the significance of such friendships when i was younger, but now i know. these are the friends who can breathe life to your faded watercolor memories of way back when, or who, with a single word or tiny cue, will help you recover that misplaced memory from that mess of a filing system in your brain.
"if you lose your faith, babe, you can have mine, and if you're lost i'm right behind, cause we walk the same line. now i don't have to tell you how slow the night can go, i know you've watched the light and i bet you could tell me how slowly four follows three, and you're most forlorn just before dawn. so if you lose your faith, babe, you can have mine, and if you're lost i'm right behind, cause we walk the same line. and i don't need reminding how loud the phone can ring when you're waiting for news and that big old moon lights every corner of the room. your back aches from lying and your head aches from crying. so if you lose your faith, babe, you can have mine, and if you're lost i'm right behind, cause we walk the same line. and if these troubles should vanish like rain at midday, well i've no doubt there'll be more, and we can't run and we can't cheat, cause baby when we meet what we're afraid of, we find out what we're made of. so if you lose your faith, babe, you can have mine, and if you're lost i'm right behind, cause we walk the same line." ~we walk the same line by everything but the girl