this is the last day of 2002 and it will most likely be my last post of the year...



that is so strange to me...this has been an incredible year for me...ted mentioned to me the other day how this year has been a year of a lot of changes for both of us...that got me thinking about a lot of things...but i'm not going to get into that right now because it's just too serious...



i went to the empty bottle last night and i decided i want to be in a punk rock band. i will admit that i 've been writing songs...but they're all like really acoustic folk songs...i need to figure out how to convert those songs into punk rock songs...i think i should start playing my electric guitar instead of my acoustic guitar...



i have discovered that there is an archery club in lincoln park that does archery clinics periodically. i have seriously decided to pursue learning how to use the bow & arrow. ted & i are going to be elves. he will learn how to throw knives and i will learn to shoot an arrow. ted needs to grow his hair out. he already has elvish eyes though. i need to work on mine. we need elven names as well. i need a star too. and a kingdom.

friday was the appointed day of the lord of the rings biathalon for ted and me. ted had us starting w/ movie #1 at 4pm sharp. since i had gotten the extended footage edition, we didn't finish until 7:30, and then it was off to webster place for two towers!



luckily, i had gotten tickets beforehand off of fandango.com because it was a sold out show. they actually checked our tickets THREE times, once at the entrance, again past the popcorn stand, and a third time when we entered the actual theater it was showing in. the cool thing about seeing a movie in the theater is that sometimes you get to see some really cool previews. there are now a string of movies that ted & i want to see, some of which won't come out until spring and summer. but we both want to see the new star trek one, and that catch me if you can movie. ted says i have to read the book for that first...he says he read it and that it'll be so much better than the movie, but i don't know...i really wanna see that movie soon. then Xmen2 is coming out on may 2nd, and terminator3 is coming out in the summer...these are exciting times we live in.



two towers was AWESOME. ted & i are both enamored with legalos, the elf...for different reasons of course...i used to want to be a fairy, but now i think i want to be an elf. an elf who rides horses and shoots a bow & arrow, but not to kill animals unless it's an animal hurting another animal or a human being. ted was so funny...he kept going "oh, no...oh, no...oh, no..." throughout the movie, which didn't help me, as i'm a wimp w/ violence, and that just made me even more nervous.



so ted & i have decided that next year when the third lord of the rings movie comes out, we're going to do a triathalon & watch the first two on dvd and then run out to the theater...that's gonna be like an 11 hour ordeal! yesterday was 8 hours from start to finish. we'll need lots of popcorn...

so call me a geek, but i rented "theremin: an electronic odessy" a documentary about the first electronic instrument, the theremin...that's the creepy sounding instrument that got some use on old sci fi movie soundtracks. it was really fascinating...the movie told the story about the scientist named leon theremin who invented the instrument. andy myers of hidari mae plays the theremin on their album...i'm gonna have to ask him if he saw this movie. the cool thing was that robert moog (yes! the inventor of THE moog) was on the documentary. apparently, he got his start into building electronic instruments as a teenager when he started building his own theremins. i had no idea that the moog had its origins in the theremin. the really interesting thing about the theremin is that you control pitch and volume by disturbing an electromagnetic field w/ your hands. so you're not even touching the instrument...you just move your hands and fingers in the vicinity of these two antennae...well, it's not that simple, but that's the basic idea...



so i went to the trader joe's today to get a few items and to see ted who was working...almost as soon as i walked into the store, this other customer started staring at me and following me around...it was really creepy...i've never had that happen at a grocery store before. he struck up a conversation w/ me, and i know i shouldn't talk to strangers, but i really can't NOT talk to people when they talk to me first, so we talked a bit, and then he asks me for my number! i was really taken aback by that--like who actually bluntly asks for a number these days?? don't people ask for email addresses first??--and i stammered and flat out lied...i told him i was seeing someone...i mean, this guy was old enough to be my uncle...i'm done with older men...been there, done that, didn't work...maybe i need to read that worst case scenario book on dating that connolly got me...i'm sure it tells you what to do in a situation like that...well, it probably suggests lying as a solution...oh well...



been listening to--

reject all american--bikini kill

it's hard--the who

bakesale--sebadoh

nothing lives long...--brave captain

fun house--the stooges

us and us only--the charlatans uk

murray street--sonic youth

let us garlands bring--early day miners

i have absolutely nothing to say that is worth sharing...i spent the past couple days mainly missing people who are either not in chicago or not on the planet any more...that's what i don't like about the holidays...it puts thoughts in your head you'd rather not have...you remember christmases from years past...for the past 9 christmases, there was bruce and there was my dad...this year i have neither...it's weird...it's sad...



but i'm trying to be positive, you know...i know that there are people who still care about me...like my cousin kris and my friend connie...they are two friends i will always go back to...and we always have fun...like on saturday when connie & i crashed the xmas party that kris was at and looked on at a group of our crazy korean friends doing karaoke...or monday night when we spent a crazy long time trying to pick dvds at facets then drove around all over lakeview, lincoln park and logan square looking for a KFC because that's what we wanted and we had to have it (connie discovered that ZAGAT.com does not list KFCs, even in a major city like chicago)...



then there's connolly...we went to see a benefit show on sunday nite @ the beat kitchen. dan phillips of my local faves zapruder point and eric z were playing together...connolly & i did our gift exchange...and would you believe that he got me the worst-case scenario survival handbook on dating & sex?!! yes, now i can learn how to escape from a bad date, save my date from choking, fend off an obsessive ex, determine if my date is an axe murderer, carry a date who is passed out, among many other useful skills. connolly must think i'm totally romantically challenged to be thinking i need this book. or maybe he thinks i can use all the help i can get. which is probably true. i'm quite clueless.



oh, cool thing about sunday (besides seeing dan & eric who are lovely lovely people) was seeing my friends jenn & john and geoff. they all went to college w/ dan & eric...john introduced me to built to spill and my bloody valentine, and for that he & jenn have my undying devotion. not to mention they're two of the coolest people i know. and geoff taught me the bass line for r.e.m.'s catapult and introduced me to the 10 cat tavern and arcade baseball.



so on xmas eve i got together @ my cousins'...casey...ike...kris...yonju...my brother jim...it was a small crowd compared to past christmases w/ kris & yonju's brothers and yonju's boyfriend and bruce who i guess used to be one of the cousins...well, kris & i brought our liquor collection, and i had some midori which is always a good thing...we watched the extended version of the lord of the rings #1 movie...i'm gonna have to get that version when i watch it w/ ted cuz i think it'll explain things a lot better for him since he's never seen the movie or read the book before...i wonder when we're gonna do that because i'm really eager to see #2 now...



xmas day was pretty mellow...went to my uncle's for dinner...my cousins sherline and debbie were in town from their respective towns (atlanta & boston) so it was good to see them again. debbie showed us her scrapbook from her october trip to paris and london, and seeing those photos totally made me want to go to europe. but i think i'll wait until i can take someone who speaks french fluently. and until it's a tad warmer.



i've missed my dad a lot the past couple days...i guess that goes without saying...and when i miss my dad, i miss ian because he's the only person i know who could evoke in me the same feelings of security and being unconditionally loved that my dad used to stir in me...i really wish i were going to austin for new year's eve...

i can't find my disintegration cd...i'm trying to breathe slow because i'm starting to panic...CRAP!!!!



merry christmas eve...