ok. this just in...watchers photos from the sold out hideout show are right over HERE...

so the torch has been passed on to me...that would be pete's torch, his faithful zippo lighter that has come in handy so many times for us disposable bicsters...i guess i'm sentimental because i totally LOVE it, mainly cuz it used to be pete's...i really don't get attached to things unless there's some meaning behind it, like it used to belong to a friend, or it was a gift, or it represents a moment of significance. that lighter reminds me of all the good times i've had w/ pete & amy & sam...



well, it was a nice weekend over all...gosh, tweedy AND wilco w/ all my friends--megan, matt, joe, connolly, caleb & crew...dickey's funky love bomb a.k.a. caleb, pierre & todd plus guest rob...joe the perfect show partner...breakfast w/ ted...holograms w/ ted...beer brewing supplies w/ ted...grilled cheese sandwiches w/ pete & amy...hyde park alums...watchers...joe the perfect dancing partner...joe the perfect 24 hour diner conversationalist...it's all good...



been listening to:

reject all american--bikini kill

brief history of the 20th century--gang of four

entertainment!--gang of four

mahler's symphony no. 5--CSO w/ solti

still feel gone--uncle tupelo

ok. busy weekend for the most part...saturday evening i went to hyde park for the HPV 5 year reunion...it was kinda weird to be there since i'm so on the fringe of the church...i mean, it seems like i only go when caleb & audrey are in town...i only stayed for a little while because i had to go to the watchers show, but i did get to see some old familiar faces, like jordan & sonya seng, john kim, & 'than. and it was definitely good seeing caleb & aud & pierre & todd & rob again. and i got to hang w/ pete & amy & sam.



after hyde park, i picked up joe and then met megan @ my apartment and off we went to the hideout. i guess i was a little eager to get there, because we got there WAAAAY early...they were still in the middle of soundcheck. but we got a parking spot no problem. and we had a chance to sit and chat leisurely before the crazy crowd got there. the opening band was called mahjong and they were pretty awesome. jamie, the percussionist for watchers, used to play w/ them. i'm gonna learn me the toy xylophone now! ted told me i have to learn how to play drums if i wanna play the xylo, but i don't believe him...i think it's just a tactic to recruit a drum student for himself, which i'll never be...



well, watchers sold out the hideout...it was so packed...i know without a shadow of a doubt that we were breaking safety ordinances...i know i was...i was standing on top of the somewhat wobbly bar next to the stage to take photos...john & joe put me up to it...i had a much better view of ted from up there, safe from the line of fire from michael's body parts. i won't say which parts.



it was a crazy show...but watchers shows are ALWAYS crazy...they sounded tiiiiight...they didn't get on stage until midnight, and by this time, a good portion of the audience had plenty of opportunity to be drunk...the stage was rather small for michael's moves, and he made free use of the floor, ceiling, whatever...i sometimes worry that he'll break a body part (or someone else's body part), but he seems to be made of rubber.



after watchers, they went straight into the dance party, dj'ed by someone who really knows her tunes...i sat for a while w/ ted, but i did get out on the dance floor w/ joe...it was weird...i really don't like crowded dance floors because i can't dance the way i like to dance under such tight spatial restrictions. the tunes were great though...joe & i were about to leave when she put on one of my favourite cure songs, and so i squealed like a girl and told joe we couldn't leave while this song was playing. so we had a lovely dance to 'just like heaven' and one more song, and then we hit the road in search of food.



we went to the hollywood grill, this 24 hour diner on north and ashland. would you believe that place was PACKED out at 3am??? it was crazy...joe and i had our meal and talked and talked...i like talking to joe...it's comforting for some reason...he talks coupland to me, and i really enjoy that. it's always cool to talk to folks who understand where you're coming from...

alright...there's something about caleb coming to town that doesn't agree w/ my car...last time he was here was when i got in that fender bender during rush hour which resulted in a nice little crunch above the passenger side front tire...well, yesterday, i parked my car around the corner on hoyne because there were absolutely no spots on my block...it happened to be the spot right at the corner...so i'm driving at around 6pm or so to go get pete & amy in hyde park...and while on the highway, i hear this weird sound coming from my car...i'm like, 'oh, shit...not another weird sound coming from my car...' last time i had a weird sound, i had a flat tire...i knew this was no flat tire...so i exited at north ave, pulled into the bp amoco across from stanley's fruit market, and got out to inspect my car...well, it turns out SOMEONE had hit my car while i was parked, and the left corner of my rear bumper was hanging by a mere 3 inches and dragging on the ground...i could see scuff marks where someone had probably hit it while turning that corner...i can't think of any other explanation...i know i didn't hit anyone, cuz there was nobody parked behind me...and a hit that would break my bumper like that, i think i would've remembered...



well, i dragged my car to the home depot, which was a couple blocks away...i called pete & amy, told them my dilemma, blamed caleb for no reason (i don't really blame caleb...it's just funny that this happened while he was in town...), and told them i was going to try to cut the damn bumper off so it wouldn't drag any more...so i went into the home depot...3 trips in and out and a hand saw, twine, duct tape, hammer (i just happened to need a hammer...i didn't hammer anything), cable twistie thingies, and super spring action shears later, i finally got the damn dragging corner of the bumper cut off and in the trunk of my car...it was frucking cold last night too...i happened to find gloves (nonmatching and both for the same hand, but gloves nevertheless) in the car which was a lifesaver...



after THAT fiasco, i went and got pete & amy...we went to hollywood grill where we had a lovely diner meal...grilled cheese...yummy...then we went over to reckless and browsed until near closing time...we went over to filter for coffee, cocoa and cider...i had only been there to get coffee to go w/ ian...and free velamints w/ michael but i don't remember why we were there...we sat for a while and just talked...the funny thing is that i think i've been hanging out w/ those guys so much more now since they moved to hyde park than when they were living in my neighborhood in logan square...i guess distance makes the heart grow fonder...



last night, i started rereading doug coupland's life after god, which my friend joe was nice enough to lend me cuz i'd been craving that book, and both my copies have been kidnapped...looking at the cover of the book, which has a photo of a little tike floating in a lovely pool looking all reflective, the following occurred...and the following is actually an email i wrote last night, but i'm lazy so here it is mostly unmodified...



every now and then, my brain gives me a little treat for no apparent reason...i haven't been particularly good...i haven't been particularly bad...but my brain sometimes sees it fit to reward me out of the goodness of its...of its...brain cells i guess, since our brains don't have hearts...



today, my brain gave me such a present...it brought to the surface of my consciousness a particularly fond memory...



it was the dead of winter years ago...there was a blizzard raging outside...i was living in east rogers park, a mile north of where c. lives...i went to the local ymca on touhy & western that night to go swimming...and the pool was entirely empty except for a father and his little boy...that was a rare treat, to have that pool all to myself...and i spent a leisurely long time in the deep end, dancing in the water...normally, you should be doing laps, but since i had the WHOLE FRICKIN' POOL to myself, i did whatever the hell i wanted...and that night i wanted to dance in the water...i love being in the water...it's so freeing...i spun round and round and round, gliding to and fro, savoring the sensation of the water swirling around my body...the world outside was being buried under a heavy blanket of snow, but inside that swimming pool, i experienced the gentle warmth of a pure childlike joy that i will never forget...



i think what i am longing for is that same pure childlike joy...it was shameless...unabashed...sweet...freeing...more beautiful than words can describe...i am seeking a reincarnation of that joy in my life now...i miss the innocence of that hour in the pool...



i want to make more memories like this one...



yup...that's what i'm going for...



listened to--

one part lullaby--the folk implosion

being there disc two--wilco

s/t--the clash



p.s. i just remembered! yesterday, while ted and i were sitting in starbucks talking, i heard the familiar sounds of my favorite rosie thomas song over the speakers, the one which i posted the lyrics to on monday 1/6...like how weird is that?! i got all teary-eyed...here i was in the midst of a deep conversation w/ lovely ted, and rosie's song playing in the background...it was a bit much...i SOOOOOO wanna hit the road for joshua tree...weird thing is that joe asked me thursday night if i'd ever been there...he said the magic words..."JOSHUA TREE..." i got all excited...i told him i wanna do a road trip out there...to camp in the desert beneath the stars......roadtrip, roadtrip, roadtrip...

well, it definitely was a night of rawk 'n' roll for me last night...had dinner w/ megan & matt & ted's roommate joe who i invited out for the show cuz he's a wilco fan...we got this sweet sweet parking spot smack dab across the street from the Vic...it wasn't even metered...it was like totally FREE...that's so awesome...dinner was nice and leisurely...margaritas were involved...and then jeff tweedy live at the Vic...caleb, pierre, todd & rob from nyc/ct were at the show too, and it was awesome to see them again...caleb & i caught up a little bit...connolly was there too with his wilco fan friend...and then jeff got up to play...it was very dreamy...i was having a great time...joe was great company...he didn't talk much but he was there for me to give the occassional arm squeeze to like when jeff played some of my favourite songs...the kicker to the concert was when jeff came out for the encore...and all of a sudden, would you believe glenn, john & leroy (the rest of wilco) join him on stage???!!!! the crowd went wild of course. they did as many songs as a full band as they did @ bumbershoot...so it was like getting two concerts for the price of one!!! i was so stoked...THAT was a rock 'n' roll moment for me...glenn totally looks like an elf...i love drummers...



after the show, i dropped off megan & matt and then met up w/ caleb & the boys @ my apartment. they jammed until 2 am. hearing pierre play my j-45 was like a taste of heaven...hearing caleb play josh's cheap guitar w/ pierre was awesome...caleb can make any guitar sound good...they did so many songs...i made them do orphan girl, although they did protest at first...and they did sunken treasure (my favorite wilco song) and via chicago, which wilco had neglected to do at their show...there is nothing i love more than a jam session that lasts late into the night...i love private concerts where caleb & his friends are involved...they're so FRUCKIN' GOOD!!!



i think joe enjoyed the jam session too...esp. when they did the dylan songs...caleb & pierre have these raspy rock'n'roll voices, and the faces caleb makes when he plays crack me up bigtime...pierre's just so awesome i can't even describe it...and todd...he sings harmony like an angel...it was so cool...they must have been so exhausted...i know rob just wanted to go to sleep, poor thing...but it was so much fun for me, ya know? ted happened to call a little after 2 am, which was perfect timing cuz the guys were leaving and i was about to drive joe back to his & ted's apartment. and thus ended a rock'n'roll night i'll never forget...



hung out w/ ted for a couple hours when i dropped joe off...we had plans to go to breakfast this morning and hang out before he had to work...we joked about the letter i had written him that was still in my purse, still unsent...our little experiment w/ the postal system...i was impatient because we kept talking about stuff i'd written in the letter, and ted wouldn't let me just give it to him...i'm gonna send that sucker tonight when i go see pete & amy & sam.



i actually got up for breakfast w/ ted this morning...he took me to sweet maple cafe on taylor street by UIC...it was AWESOME!! i had grits for the first time!!! it started snowing like crazy while we were eating...big huge snowflakes--the kind that hurts when it whips across your face--were coming down hard and fast by the time we left the cafe...if you opened your mouth, you could catch big gulps of the cold white stuff...ted & i decided to go to the museum of holography in the west loop...we happened to park on madison across the street from all these industrial kitchen supply stores, and ted's eyes lit up when he saw the huge stock pots they had in the window. we have plans to brew beer, you see...and you need a big old pot to do that...i suggested to him last night, as we munched on panda licorice, that we should make licorice beer. like why not, eh?



the museum was awesome...you gotta check it out sometime...it's on washington just east of racine (~1124 w. washington)...no one was even at the entrance so we didn't have to pay, and it was totally empty. ted & i had that place to ourselves and the gray tabby slinking around the premises...granted, it wasn't big at all, but still, it was cool to be the only ones there...and the holograms were AMAZING!!! i wish i had some pictures, but photos weren't allowed, and ted wouldn't let me break the rule...he said that since they didn't have any one at the door, that meant they trusted us the public to behave ourselves unmonitored, and that we shouldn't break that trust...he comes up w/ the most interesting notions sometimes...



we walked around the neighborhood after the museum enjoying the cold and snow flurry...we stopped in another kitchen supply place...the dude who worked there, an older gentleman w/ a weathered face and a european accent, talked to us a bit, and commented on all my buttons on my vest and purse...a few minutes later, what does he do but come out of his office and hands me a yellow smiley face button!! it was so awesome...



ted & i went over to starbucks and had some coffee and talked and talked...that's the great thing about ted...we can talk for hours, and they're always meaningful conversations...even when we get goofy...unfortunately, ted had to work @ 4pm, so i dropped him off at home, and then i went over to sam's wine & spirits to stock up on beer (the boys put a dent in my supply last night, which is good...). i also got some good red wine. i'm not sure why. i think i'm gonna cook ted & his roommates dinner one of these days...we'll see...



i'm going to go hang out w/ pete & amy & probably sam tonight...i wish i could see caleb again...he's like here for just this weekend, but he's a frickin' celebrity in hyde park, and EVERYBODY wants to see caleb & pierre & todd, so i doubt i'll get to see him until tomorrow night's gettogether...i won't be able to stay too long...going to the hideout for the watchers show tomorrow nite...and you should too...9pm @ the hideout, wabansia & elston (east of elston)...haven't seen michael in like 2 weeks...weird...not really.



ok...am i crazy or did i just hear the intro guitar riff to sweet child o' mine at the tail end of "does it float" by dinosaur jr?? funny...pierre & caleb played that last night...ha ha ha!!! i must be hearing things...



recent tunes:

brief history of the 20th century--gang of four

wilco wilco wilco

start here--the gloria record

one beat--sleater-kinney

reject all american--bikini kill

modern--buzzcocks

in session--dinosaur jr.

capsul--bailter space

excuses for travelers--mojave 3