The Other Camera

So my D50 body that I bought just for my 50mm f/1.8 lens? I think I'm finally getting used to it. It's still clunky compared to my D40. I've only taken probably less than 700 photos on it, compared to almost 9,000 on my D40, so maybe it's just a matter of practice before I'm feeling more at home with it.

I did get to do a little photoshoot with the D50 on Wednesday of my cousins Ben and Rachel's baby daughter Eden, who is now 4 months old. We went over to their place for a 4th of July BBQ. Cadence loves going to see Baby Eden. She still gets jealous when one of us holds her, but not as much as she used to. She even told Ted, as we were getting out of the car, that he could hold Baby Eden.

The more time I spend with Eden, the more I miss that itty bitty baby stage. And Eden isn't so itty bitty any more already! Ted and I were looking through some old photos last night of Cadence at around 4 months old. It's been so long since we could actually say she was chubby that I was surprised to see her chunkiness.

I know y'all are thinking we're totally gonna have another one with all this baby talk, but that's not true. Yes, Ted and I joke about it casually, with just a little hint of yearning in our voices. Would we be happy if we happened to get pregnant right now? I think so. Are we going out of our way to get pregnant? Uh, no.

Fact is, I don't know if I'll even be able to get pregnant again. My doctor had told me in my 20s that I would need fertility treatment to get pregnant. Apparently, Ted was fertility treatment enough. But now, I don't know…I've only had a few periods since Cadence was born. Yes, I'm still nursing, but only a couple times a day, and I don't think that would be enough to keep most women from ovulating again.

It may just be that Cadence is my one miracle baby and that I'll never get another chance to give birth again. I have mixed feelings about this, but you know, as much as I bitch and moan about what a handful Cadence is, she really is a totally kickass kid, and I can't believe how incredibly blessed I am to have the privilege of being her mama. So if it turns out that she is my only child, she's the best only I could have ever asked for, and I'm thankful for that.