i miss my dad...

yesterday would have been my dad's 68th birthday. 4 years ago tonight, he breathed his last. watching my dad die in that hospital room was one of the most pivotal experiences of my life thus far. but his life was one worth celebrating, and so i just want to pay tribute to him here with some photos i found.

my dad was born on may 2, 1938. this is a photo of him as a cocky teenager. by this time, he'd already lived through the japanese occupation, world war II and the korean war. not your average childhood.

my dad's family lost everything during the korean war, and they actually had a lot to lose to begin with. my paternal grandfather and grandmother were both dentists, and they had acquired quite a bit of property before they were forced to leave everything behind to flee from the North Korean army during the war.

nevertheless, my dad had many happy memories from his youth, and he managed to graduate from Seoul National University, which is the top ranked university in korea.

and here's my dad on graduation day with his buddies. my, they look like a savory bunch, don't they?

after teaching high school physics for a short while, my dad, who's always enjoyed writing, became a newspaper reporter. here he is on the job at the 38th parallel, the Demilitarized Zone between North and South Koreas.

after almost a decade of post-college bachelorhood, my dad gave in to his mother's nagging to find a wife and was introduced to my mom. one of the first dates he took her on was to a meeting of the alpine mountain climbing club that he was an avid member of. for some reason, my mother still agreed to marry him.

my parents were married on september 28, 1968 in seoul. their facial expressions may look more appropriate for a funeral than a wedding, but that's the traditional Korean look for weddings. really somber.

this is one of my favorite photos of my parents. it was taken in wonju, my mom's hometown, right after their honeymoon. they look so freakin' young. and if you look very closely, you will see that there is a dragonfly on my mom's skirt, near her knee.

and here are my parents out on an outing with my dad's alpine club. my mom looks so cute in a beret, no?

my dad also loved skiing. when he was a kid, he made his own skis with pieces of wood. i'm not sure how well they worked, but i bet they provided hours and hours of fun, not to mention numerous injuries.

my dad loved skiing and mountain climbing so much that he actually traveled to the french alps to attend their alpine skiing school for a couple of weeks. being the reckless adverturesome type that he was, i believe there is a story that involved my father and a late-night alpine rescue team.

i don't know if this was taken upon departure for or arrival from that france trip, but he looks pretty sharp in that beret, no? my brother jim seems to think so. as you can see, back in those days, you wore your sunday best to the airport to see someone off or to welcome them home. that's my dad's mom on the right by the way.

although my dad's mom was a devout christian, and my dad had grown up in the methodist church, and he had even taught sunday school, by this time in his adulthood, my dad was more interested in climbing mountains on sundays than in worshipping god.

he spent all his free time and energy on his goal, which was to climb mount everest. he was in the middle of training to join an expedition to the himalayas when he experienced a serious illness that caused his kidneys to fail and cut short his dream of joining that expedition.

so there was my dad, lying in the hospital, weak and helpless, cursing god when my grandmother and her friends from church came to visit him and to pray for him. my dad defiantly and mockingly turned his back to them and refused to listen to their prayers. that night, however, as he lay alone in that hospital bed that night, he couldn't sleep. for some reason, he felt compelled to read the bible that my grandmother had left for him. and for some reason, he was deeply moved by what he read. that was the night my dad had his christian conversion experience, and his life was never the same since.

this is our family photo soon after my dad came home from the hospital. i was only 7 months old. see how puffy his face is?

and this is several months later in may of '73 when my cousin ike (the infant) and i were baptized at chongkyo methodist church in seoul. my cousin casey is the toddler on the left and my cousin kris is the toddler on the right. and that's my brother jim looking rather forlorn standing next to my dad.

and here we are going to visit my grandfather's grave in the hills. my mom didn't let me out of the house without a hat until i was about 3 because i was bald.

and here i am with hair finally. my brother's looking out into space again...i must be about 3 in this picture.

i have a vague recollection of this day. i think it might have been children's day, a national holiday in korea that celebrates children. i think we went on a picnic with my dad and maybe visited some park.

and this is our family on may 23, 1978 at kimpo airport in seoul, ready to get on a plane to our new life in chicago, IL. that's my aunt on the left and my maternal grandparents next to my mom. i am apparently busy getting a sugar high. i do remember losing my shoes on the plane and bugging the flight attendants. i also remember my mom crying a lot on the plane as she read a letter her dad had written her. my dad had just turned 40 years old a mere 3 weeks before getting on that plane to this country. he came here with barely any knowledge of the english language and without any prospects for a job. all he knew was that he wanted to tell people about jesus, and that's what he did until he died.

so that's about it for the photos. after that, my dad just gets older, and most of the photos i have are of him in that cult we were in, and i'd rather not get into that right now.

ok, one last picture...this is my dad and mom about a year before he got sick. he's visiting the rocky mountain national park in colorado. he always loved the mountains, so i thought it would be appropriate to end with a photo of him in the mountains.

my dad lived one heck of a life. he knew what it was like to be rich and to lose it all in a day. he knew hunger. he knew poverty. he knew war. he also knew the thrill of scaling great heights out in the open or of flying down a snowy mountain on nothing more than wooden sticks. he knew the joy of music. he knew the success of having front page stories and getting the 'scoop'. he'd survived avalanches and an almost fatal illness before he'd even turned 35. he knew what it was like to leave everyone and everything familiar to come to a strange and foreign land with a family depending on you for sustenance. he knew about the abuse that churches were capable of, and he knew the pain of realizing that he had participated in such abuses as well. he knew about pride, arrogance, fundamentalism, narrowmindedness. later in life, he learned a lot about humility and love and grace and mercy.

i miss my dad. i really, really do...