we have seen the future...

...and it seems to indicate a lot of cute sweet boys vying for cadence's attention. this is cadence's little buddy at church, rudden. he's just a couple months older, and you should see the two of them chasing each other and squealing with mutual delight!

...fortunately, teddy wholeheartedly approves of the Boy. really, i don't think we could've found a cuter match for our little girl. and we already love his family too!

...it's fun to daydream about what kind of a woman cadence will grow up to be. what will be her interests and passions? what kind of music will she like? will she be compassionate and generous and loving? will she be creative? will she have kids? will we still be close?

...and yet, i know that each day with her is a gift and not to be taken for granted. it breaks my heart when parents lose their children, like the little amish girls whose lives were snuffed out so violently. i cannot even begin to fathom the depth of the grief that comes with such loss.

...it's thoughts like this that drive me to prayer, maybe not the on-your-knees-dear-heavenly-father kind, but nevertheless a prayer from my deepest parts, a prayer not utterable in words alone, a prayer because i know that as much as i'd like to, i can't watch over my little one every second of the day, and i can't control all the elements in the universe that affect her safety and well-being.

i guess that's why i still believe in god, in my own way. if i didn't, i would feel so utterly out of control that i would probably go insane...