...well, it's the last day of the year 2004, and my oh my what a year it has been...just for kicks, i went back in time and read stuff i wrote in my blog before my life was forever changed when i found out teddy & i were pregnant...that would have been during january and february...reading those entries makes me laugh and *sigh* at the same time...in some ways, i am still that silly girl who was only interested in the next indie rock show and photoshoot and hanging out with her hot drummer boyfriend and who cried at reading children's books or movies about dads who lived 'big fish' lives who die of cancer...i still hate getting my hair wet in showers in the winter...i still don't cook very often...i still love the detholz! and life at sea...



...and yet in some ways i am a whole new person now...for one thing, 99.9999% of the photos i take these days are of a 2 footer whose age is calculated in weeks...instead of going to bed at 2 or 3am after a night of rock 'n' roll, i now get up at those hours to nourish a hungry little baby...my blog contains much fewer swear words these days...instead of posting to this blog every chance i get, i--well, actually, i still DO post every chance i get...those chances just don't come very often any more...my fridge has more bottles of pumped breastmilk than bottles of beer on the average night...to sum it up, my life is no longer just MY life anymore...it's teddy's and cadence's, not out of duty or obligation, but because i can't help wanting what's best for my family now, instead of being interested in just what i want for myself...



...don't get me wrong--i still love the rock and i still love the roll...but now i get to share that w/ my teddy and my little cadence, and it's so much more fun to share than to keep all that good music to yourself...



been listening to--

at folsom prison--johnny cash

march 16-20,1992--uncle tupelo

without a sound--dinosaur jr

bryter layter--nick drake

summerteeth--wilco

mouthfuls--fruit bats

good news for people who love bad news--modest mouse

oh mercy--bob dylan

dear life--bill mallonee (every night at 9pm)

feliz navidad

merry christmas from ted, sarah & our little cadence joy!

...it's amazing how quickly a little baby can change, not just physically, but socially as well...cadence & i had probably our most interactive days this past weekend...she's starting to smile and laugh a lot more, and she was in such a good mood i did a photo shoot that involved 4 outfits...i put a few of the photos (#172-190) in our yahoo album...it was so hard to leave her monday morning to go to work...i talk to her by phone a couple times a day, but it's just not the same...she's becoming more and more expressive and aware of her surroundings...she's finally starting to appreciate all the toys she's gotten...



...one thing's for sure...she loves her bill mallonee & bob dylan! which is totally fine with me...sometimes when we're listening to one of their albums, she'll start whimpering if the silence in between songs lasts too long for her...i can relate...



...*sigh*...she's so cute...one more coo, one more giggle, and my heart may just give out...

...meet CADENCE JOY, future punk rock sensation!!! that's right, folks...y'all can decide amongst yourselves which one's her emo, riot grrrl, punk pop, shoe gazer, indie and hard core look...

...holy schmole...i forgot all about this here place...well, i've been busy...not sleeping too well either...getting christmas stuff ready...now that we're an official family with child, we felt it necessary to send out christmas cards w/ photo, ya dig? so i've been busy writing out addresses...if you feel like you deserve a card from me, email me your address, and i'll ask cadence if i should send you a card or not...



...last sunday we had our reunion w/ our child birth education classmates now that all the babies have been born...it was so nice to see everyone and hear all their birth stories...the babies were all so cute! cadence was the 2nd oldest one there, and quite possibly the biggest in size...hard to believe that little pip squeak could actually look big, but next to an 8 pounder, she looks pretty huge now...



...after that reunion, we went to see our friends jenn & john who had their little ada gray in august...they were having an open house, and we were so happy to finally meet their little girl...jenn & john are also totally cool...they've introduced me to some great bands...maybe we'll be taking our little girls to some kids music shows in the future together...



...alright...time to feed...