modra j. weren't lying...it were truly fabulous outside today...



i swung by the wildwood to pick up some VoL & serene cds for the neverending press kits i affectionately send out for my beloveds...there was a liquid mother-of-pearl sunset as i drove westward...i called my friends to insist that they go out on their porch and soak in the sunset i couldn't fully take in due to having two hands on the wheel. but they were watching the simpsons. simpsons. liquid mother-of-pearl sunset. simpsons. liquid mother-of-pear sunset. simpsons won out...fools!!!!...so i enjoyed it the best i could by getting teary-eyed with foot on the gas and my digits on the steering unit. "shooting stars still break her heart and sunsets make her cry..." yup...neil halstead doesn't know this maybe, but i visit him in his dreams and inspire his songs...i am the muse of the indie rocker dream world...yeah...in MY dream world...



but it were a lovely evening indeed...i got to smoke a cig w/ the window rolled ALL the way down...like how often do you get to do THAT in a chicago january without getting frostbite?



i went to the monkey store on belmont & clark w/ connolly tonight to look at their leather sale. i just don't think i were made for leather jackets. none of them looked right. but i did get a blue monkey for a blue friend. and a rubber ducky belt buckle for a rubber ducky fanatic. well, it's not really a RUBBER rubber ducky belt buckle. it's enamel. but it's yellow w/ lovely cobalt blue eyes. COBALT BLUE!!! i love cobalt blue...



tomorrow is the jeff tweedy fiasco...ah...jeff...how i love your songs...



i'm going to go into work at the crack of dawn so i can leave in the middle of the afternoon. yeah, we'll see which crack of dawn i choose...the very beginning of the crack, or when the dawn's completely shattered portion...



i have often thought that i can live on clementine oranges...i thunk it again tonight...i consumed four of those little juice balls in 2.5 minutes about 7 minutes ago...and i had like 5 at work this morning...i didn't know i could peel so fast or so often.



the infamous caleb maskell hits town tomorrow w/ his east coast posse. caleb is probably the closest thing to a celebrity friend i have, in terms of how he's treated when he gets to town...i'll be lucky if i get 5 minutes w/ him outside the tweety concert. well, i hope he has fun...he deserves it...because i said so...



so today at work, as i was pondering on the pathetic performance of my compaq dinosaur of a laptop, i remembered a "rap" i wrote for josh back when HIS compaq laptop was giving him grief...i dug it up to share w/ y'all...but if you're like really prissy about cussing, well, don't look...it's rated R i guess, but it's got just about the right amount of cussing in it considering it's based on an ice cube/nwa song. yeah, rap here.



that's all folks...



today i listened to:

brief history of the 20th century--gang of four

summershine--VoL

audible sigh--VoL

one part lullaby--the folk implosion

modern--buzzcocks

if it weren't for venetian blinds it would be curtains for us all--piebald

we are the only friends we have--piebald

the cruelest and sweetest words received via email so far today:



"sucks you're stuck at work, cuz it truly is fabulous outside."



that's my friend joe, reminding me that i am stuck in this windowless office while the sun has momentarily forgotten the date and is shining not only brightly but warmly as well...when the realization hit me today that it was going to be a beeyewtiful day and that i would miss it all, i was greatly saddened and thereby commissioned one of my non-working friends to spend the entire day outdoors in my stead. i have always held to the belief that if the temperature exceeds 50 degrees during december or january, work should just automatically be cancelled and made up on a cold weekend day...



"it truly is fabulous outside..." like how often is that statement true for chicago in the dead of january??? such a phenomenon should not be commemorated indoors behind office doors in front of computers...it calls for face-in-the-sun-hair-in-the-wind-body-in-motion romp in the meadows...do we have meadows in chicago? i love that word...meadows...meadows...where are my meadows...



i really want a road trip now...i wonder if ted will drive up to madison w/ me on friday for nepali food? maybe joe...i suppose we could drive to starved rock...it's closer i think...i just want to be outdoors...but it will be 25 by friday...shit...opportunity lost because of responisbilities...i should've taken today off instead of friday...



hijack the day, my friends...especially if it's a warm sunny day in january in chicago...



listening to--

wilco wilco wilco

reading, writing & arithmetic--the sundays

i should be sleeping right now but i'm not...but there's really nothing unusual about that...



i am feeling rather moody...i am craving forest...ever since i went to the conservatory w/ ted & his friends and ran my hand through the soft soft green green moist moist moss...i crave a bed of such a thing...where am i going to find an entire bed of the stuff here in the midwest???



so i have taken the www.findyourspot.com quiz like FOUR times, and every single time portland, OR comes up as the #1 place where i should live. a part of me says, well, ok, then, portland it is...and then another part of me says, screw that! as if i'd let any stupid manmade test tell me where to go! i'm moving to the DESERT, ya hear me? the DESERT, i say!



alas, there are things keeping me in chicago right now...like a job...i have come to the sad realization that now that i don't have parents housing and feeding and clothing me any more, and since i don't possess the genius of frank abignale to live the life of crime, i am just going to have to accept the need to be working...it's not that i'm against working...i just wish i could be doing something i LOVED, something i'd do even if no one paid me to do it...like the guy who gets to pick the music that gets played at chipotle restaurants. i want that job! but i want to be paid what i'm paid now...



seattle still calls my name...i actually applied for a job there, but it's not really a realistic job that i'd actually get, so i really don't expect a call or anything...



the job market being the way it is, i'd say i'll be in chicago for a while yet...



other things keeping me in chicago...well, my mom i guess...my extended family...the bridges...no, really, i'm fond of chicago's bridges...my friends...reckless records...pure laziness...deep loathing of packing and unpacking...the hope that certain people will someday move back (josh, are you reading this??? caleb??)...



maybe i'll leave when pete & amy move. maybe i'll find a job in seattle by then. or portland. or apple valley, ca...



reasons i want to leave chicago...i've been here all my life in the U.S....the cold...i hate winter coats...it's so familiar...the memories that haunt me...the lack of topography...



where i would like to go...well, according to findyourspot.com, i want to go to portland, OR...really, i want to go where there are forests and mountains and big bodies of water, where i can see the stars at night, where i don't have to turn into an icicle in the winters, where there's good music and good indian food and good thai food and good mexican food (that's all i need, really...). and even now, all i can think about is that bed of soft soft green green moist moist moss in the conservatory...



i think i will go into the woods to be there for the trees when they fall...



been listening to--

brief history of the 20th century--gang of four (over and over and over again because at home i feel like a tourist)

sometimes a few of the pieces of this infinite jigsaw puzzle called life come together almost magically...you meet some one at just the right time in your life when you need to hear their insights...hear their struggles...hear their questions...hear their fears...hear their dreams...and that some one needs to hear what you have to say on all this as well...and you speak truth into each others' lives...and that is a beautiful thing...

ok. just a note about mike kinsella's show on sat. night @ the fireside...it was lovely...i almost missed part of the set from lollygagging in the bar too long, but as soon as i stepped out into the music room, i got chills up my back because mike was doing a wilco song. not just any wilco song. he was doing 'i'm always in love' which is one of my favourites. i immediately rushed to the front and stood in that area to the right of the stage where there's always room...



i have never done photoshoots @ the fireside, but since mike was sitting down and being pretty calm for the most part, i thought i'd give it a try. i rather like the results. you can seem some more photos here if you like.



anyways, mike writes some really lovely songs, many of which i can relate to personally. i suppose when someone writes about relationships gone awry and loneliness and other pretty much humanly universal experiences, most any one can relate to such songs. but still...he writes so they feel personal, not universal. i have no idea what that means...



at any rate, definitely check out his new album no good for no one now...it's a local favourite and quickly becoming a widespread favourite...



speaking of favourites...one of my personal faves, hidari mae, have some demos out on mp3.com. click here for that. they'll be recording again in february, and hopefully touring outside of the state of washington by summer. that's my hope at least.



been listening to--

either/or--elliott smith

brief history of the 20th century--gang of four

reading, writing & arithmetic--the sundays

loveless--my bloody valentine

yankee hotel foxtrot--wilco

summerteeth--wilco

being there--wilco

when we were small--rosie thomas

sound of confusion--spacemen 3

one part lullaby--the folk implosion

murray street--sonic youth