...last night was my first "traditional" all-american thanksgiving dinner at teddy's family's out in the burbs...there were 17 people there representing four generations--teddy's parents, 2 grandmas, siblings david, lauren & jay, dave's girlfriend ellen, ellen's mom lillian, teddy's aunt martha & uncle bob & his cousins vicky & connie & connie's husband ben & vicky's toddler mackenzie...we all sat around the biggest dining table i've ever seen outside a restaurant, and it was just absolutely lovely, like i've seen in the movies...teddy's mom made most of the food, including the turkey, which was succulently juicy from having been soaked in sugar-salt water for 12 hours prior to being roasted...there was creamed cauliflower soup w/ homemade cheddar crackers, a southern recipe cornbread stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, bean salad, cranberry sauce, cranberry relish, homemade rolls, and a salad of greens, fennel and citrus fruit...for dessert, teddy's little sister lauren was the barista and we all had our americanos, lattes, mochas, etc made to order with our pumpkin cheesecake that aunt martha made and cranberry tarts and apple pie-type pastry...we all had a lovely time chatting and laughing and feasting...we looked through connie's wedding photos, did jigsaw puzzles, had pingpong tourneys, played piano for each other, and just had a good time...teddy & i snuck some turkey out to the garage to sniper, their kitty cat, who is tiny compared to my aberdeen...teddy kept calling him abbey by accident...we headed back to the city around 10:30, and i let jay the youngest drive my subaru...he drove like a maniac but we all made it home in one piece...



...i have to say, i didn't really miss the rice & kimchee with my thanksgiving dinner last night...it was interesting to observe how thanksgiving is done outside a korean family...in some ways, it was more formal in that we were all seated at the table at the same time, but it was nice to have all the generations there sharing the festivities...teddy's folks have been very good to me, and i really appreciate being a part of their lives...the siblings especially...



...teddy & i did stop by my mom's on the way to his folks' place...we were glad we got to see her and my bro for thanksgiving too...they went to my uncle's in lake zurich for dinner, and i suppose we could've gone there later, but we were too tired, and i'm sure things there were over by 10:30...



...so the day after thanksgiving is one of the biggest shopping days of the year, and i normally avoid any place w/ a parking lot on such days, but teddy suggested that we go downtown to the watertower place and get coffee @ gloria jean's and people watch...so we headed down there midmorning and hung out for a couple of hours...it wasn't excessively crowded, probably due to the nippy weather, but there definitely were a lot of bodies going to and fro everywhere we went...we went outside and listened for awhile to the salavation army brass band that was playing in front of the john hancock building...i took some photos at the christmas tree in the plaza in front of the john hancock...it was a really tall tree, really simple, only decorated with colored lights and a small star at the very top...the simplicity of this tree was disarming, in the midst of all the splendor of michigan avenue, the magnificent mile, all decked out in its christmas season glory...



...at around noon, we headed back north towards trader joe's since teddy had to work at 1pm...we stopped in katerina's, that cafe/jazz club on irving park where i'd met w/ connolly & his fiance a couple weeks ago...i'd been meaning to take teddy there for a while now, and we didn't have a lot of time today but we had a quick lunch of bruschetta and spanakopita (spinach pie) and americanos...teddy really dug the place--the decor, the music playing on the stereo, the coffee, and the food...considering we only had 40 minutes, it was lovely...we're definitely going back there when we have time to lounge around...



...and now i am home in my cozy little attic, watching the neighbor's roof disappear beneath a white frosty powder snow...i just can't believe how lovely this weekend has been so far, and it's still only friday late afternoon...i normally wouldn't even be home yet from work...don't you just love it when you feel like you've had a full weekend and the real weekend hasn't even started yet? i just wish teddy were off from work too...oh well...we still get to spend a couple hours together before he goes off to work each day...



i can't believe december is already upon us...next year will be a busy one for me...i need to move the end of march, which will be a monumental task considering the amount of junk i own...i'll also be trying to finish getting certified as a compensation professional for work...then there's the question of what to do w/ my photography...i just wish someone with money out the wazu would become my patron or something...in the meantime, i am going to try to get some of my stuff printed in various formats just to see what it looks like off the web and on paper...i've also got a photo project in the works but that's a surprise that's gonna take about half a year to accomplish...i wonder what kind of photos i would take if i really TRIED...and then the music...the music!! i'll never have enough time or money for all the music...



...ok, i need a nap...god bless everybody good night!



been listening to--

loveless--my bloody valentine

shadows of--the waxwings

hark!--sufjan stevens

...happy thanksgiving folks!



...now you may all be wondering, did i wake up at this insane hour on a nonwork day just to wish you a happy thanksgiving? actually, yes, i did...i woke up at 7:30 a.m. with the silly excitement of a kid on christmas morning just cuz i'm gonna get to go to teddy's parents' house for thanksgiving dinner today...considering i didn't go to sleep until 1:30 am, i really should still be in bed, cuz lord knows there are not many thursdays during the year on which i can sleep for as long as i want...instead, here i sit in front of this computer, with my white melon tea wearing my holden caulfield hat, my toes exposed to the extreme cold in my apartment which i deal with every morning cuz i turn off the heat at night (my furnace generates a sound that i can only describe as the muffled roar of a busy bowling alley on a saturday night, and i've never tried sleeping in a bowling alley under such conditions so i turn off the heat every night and take cover beneath my down comforter)...



...so today is the day for giving thanks, eh? i know i normally bitch and complain but i know that the secret to a life of peace and joy is creative thankfulness...and what am i thankful for today? well, reflecting on the past year, this being the season whence such reflections are practiced, and beyond the basic gratitude for being alive without any major malfunctions in my body with a roof over my head, i would have to say that i'm not thankful so much for THINGS or SITUATIONS as i am for the people in my life, whether they're still in it or not...



...there are days when i'm like rod tidwell in jerry mcguire (yes, that movie is still only three days old in my mind) and i just wanna shout that i love my mom! i love my brother! i love my boss! i love EVERYBODY! and then there are those days when i hate the same people...but i don't actually hate them...when i really honestly think about the people who have loved me and cared for me during my several decades on this planet, what can i do but be grateful?



...and today is the one year anniversary of teddy's and my first dinner together...it wasn't a DATE date, but it was our first time really connecting...we'd gotten together to discuss why he'd left watchers, and we ended up talking about a whole bunch of stuff...it was so easy to talk to him...we were in the restaurant for 3 hours...and that was the start of a beautiful friendship...i am so grateful for my teddy...i have these moments, when i think about the joy that he's brought me these past months, i wonder how it can be that i should be so blessed...it's because of gifts like teddy that i still believe in a loving and gracious god who is on my side and not out to condemn me or nitpick at all my faults...i know in time all that will make more sense...



been listening to--

dollar movie--goner*

you can play these songs with chords--death cab fer cutie

lots of sam cooke



*can i just say something about this band, goner? the frontman and songwriter for this band is a guy named scott phillips who happens to be the twin bro of my local fave dan of zapruder point...i guess musical talent is in some ways genetic cuz scott is also a gem of a songwriter...this album, which i hadn't listened to in a long time but loved the first time i heard it, is really a beauty...they've got a new album out which i can't wait to hear...so if bands like death cab & pedro the lion aren't indie enough for ya, check these guys out...they're worth it...

...DISCLAIMER: i watched jerry mcguire last night...this may not be evident immediately, but it will become obvious a couple paragraphs later...



...so is honesty really the best policy? cuz if it weren't, i'd be several thousand dollars richer right now...yeah, the bank made a mistake and put money that didn't belong to me in my account...and before i could even be tempted to withdraw the mystery money, i called the bank...it would've been nice if the bank had given me a nice tip for taking the time out of my day to inform them of their error, but of course, in this day and age, who has the time or interest to reward good behavior, especially if you're a gargantuan megaentity like bankXXX...*sigh*...well, i figure a clear conscience is worth far more than a measly several thousand dollars...right?



and then you've got people like a certain somebody i know who pray for four thousand dollars cuz they need a new furnace and new washing machine, and lo and behold the next week they get a check for almost four thousand dollars from the mortgage company for an overpayment to their escrow account...i wish i had an escrow account...but with my luck, i'd probably get a bill for four thousand dollars at the end of the year for an UNDERPAYMENT...say la vee y'all...



...well, i do have some good news...my boss had a little performance appraisal talk with me yesterday, and apparently she's actually HAPPY with my performance this year! as opposed to last year when my productivity got shot to hell with events such as, oh, getting divorced, leaving the church, moving and increasing my commute by 300%, watching my dad die, you know, that kind of stuff...i was actually surprised that she was happy, cuz even though i did do a lot better than last year, you have to understand, before my dad died, i was a superproductive worker here...i guess i kinda lost interest in advancing my career and all that after spending a month in the hospital next to my dad...i watched him work like a dog for decades, and for what? it really changes the way you look at work...you want more than just a paycheck...you want what you do to be meaningful...and i think you can do that at any job, but you kinda need to go beyond the boundaries of the mere job description sometimes...like having meaningful relationships with people at work...or giving extra personal attention when you don't need to, especially when you work in a company of thousands of employees...i'm realizing more and more that just because we can't change our immediate circumstances to be the way we want them to be, does not mean we can't still be the person we aspire to be...kind, caring, compassionate, honest, courageous, fun...sometimes we have to change our surroundings from the inside out instead of making excuses...



i suppose this can also apply to the church...AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!! i'm not gonna go there just yet...



ok, i lied, i am...



i read somewhere about how we can talk and complain about churches, how they're so imperfect, blah blah blah, and we can discuss what WE would want in a church if we could have it just so...but this guy i was reading mentioned how the christians he really really admired and respected just quietly served in these nondescript churches without all the flair and shebang and pizzaz of some of them fancy churches that have a fancy band or an eloquent preacher or a grand art gallery or all this postmodern emergent talk...and i think i kinda know what he's talking about...it's like those people don't limit their spiritual lives by what others may perceive as a church's weaknesses...i'm not saying you shouldn't look for the church where you feel comfortable and welcomed and all that but you have to realize that the church is imperfect because it is human...it's like what my old pastor steve nicholson said...he always tells the story of when he was a young man and he couldn't find a church that he thought was good enough and how an older christian woman finally confronted him one day and said that he kept looking for the perfect church, but that there was no such thing, and that even if there were, he'd probably go there and ruin it, meaning that his critical attitude and negativity were affecting not only himself but the people he was around...



i guess when it comes down to it, god's gonna be present in simple churches, fancy churches, main stream churches, alternative churches, postmodern churches, emergent churches, traditional churches, avant garde churches, etc as long as he's welcome there...



...but i'd still like a good band, is that so wrong? CALEB! PIERRE! TODD! move back to chicago, PULEEEEZE??? just kidding...ok, not kidding...



and today's photos are photos of CHICAGO and not of BOYS per SOMEBODY's request! you're welcome caleb!



been listening to--

reading, writing and arithmetic--the sundays

oddessey & oracle--the zombies

only with laughter can you win--rosie thomas

infinite keys--ester drang

rehearsals for departure--damien jurado

universal truths and cycles--guided by voices

my solo project--mates of state

the moon & antarctica--modest mouse

ancient melodies of the future--built to spill

where shall you take me?--damien jurado

now you know--doug martsch

spoon and rafter--mojave 3

time (the revelator)--gillian welch

...only in chicago can you go from 64 degrees fahrenheit to -2342563 celsius over a 24 hour period...alright, i'm exaggerating, but only a little bit...it really was 64 degrees F yesterday, and that's the truth...



...i was greeted by a world covered in a light dusting of snow when i looked out my bedroom window this morning...to accentuate the semi-lovely sight was a blast of arctic air desparately seeking the warmth of my furnace bursting in through the same said window...i swear, that window is leakier than a sinking submarine...i needs to do something about that cuz i was a pan asian popsicle by the time i woke up...it was pure torture getting out from under my down comforter just to turn the alarm off...



...as you may have guessed by now, i am a certified cold wussy...my first winter in the united states was the blizzard of '79, and i knew my parents had to have moved to the wrong America...i liked the America with the palm trees that i saw during our very brief busride changing planes in honolulu...alas, i have weathered a couple dozen chicago winters since, and the past couple ones, i kept saying to myself that it never gets this cold by the pacific ocean, and i waft into my daydreams of life on the left coast...and every year, around autumn, i find myself still in chicago, bracing for another chiller...



...WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME???? actually, nothing is wrong with me...my not moving to the west coast is actually a sign of sanity...you see, i have a job here in chicago that pays pretty much all my bills...the economy on the west probably could not provide me w/ a comparable job...at least not yet...i need a couple more years of compensation experience under my belt, a professional certification in compensation, maybe get recertified as an HR professional, and then i will have some ammo for a decent job in a warmer state w/ mountains and an oceanview...but for now, my strategy will be to wear many layers during these dark months...esp. now that i'm taking the metra and have to stand on a platform exposed to sun, rain, sleet, snow and wind, i have to be extra fortified for severe weather conditions...today, for example, not including my bra, i am wearing no less than 3 layers on top...in addition to my 3/4 length black coat w/ thinsulate, i wore my holden caulfield hat which covered my ears and my forehead, and i wrapped my face and neck in my long fleece scarf so that when i put on my sunglasses, there was no part of my face exposed to the elements...i didn't look in the mirror before i left because i knew that vanity would get the better of me, and i'd loosen up and possibly even shed some of the layers so i wouldn't look so idiotic...at least i was warm...



*sigh*...people in california don't have this problem...

...note for future reference: if you are eating a WASABI shrimp roll, you probably don't need to put the ENTIRE packet of wasabi into your soy sauce for dipping...unless you wanna burn a hole that goes from your sinuses straight through your brain and out of the top of your head...dumb, sarah...dumb...



...so i bribed teddy into letting me meet him for lunch @ trader joes by promising to bring subway sandwiches...it was unusually warm still at noon when i met him...very windy though...the dark grey clouds which had been threatening all morning to burst open any minute stopped being taken seriously by those caught up in the indian summerlike weather, and there were people hustling and bustling on the sidewalks and in the parks...teddy & i ate at the park bench in front of trader joes, but we had time remaining so i took him to a place i found beneath the 'L' tracks right off of grace...there was this employee parking lot there for one of the warehouses or factories on ravenswood, and right next to the parking lot beneath the tracks was this little patch of grass with two wooden picnic benches...



...i don't think we were supposed to sit there, but we did anyway...there were security cameras posted on the wall of the factory building, but i don't think we were in danger of getting in trouble...we were just sitting there holding onto each other tight against the force of the wind which was reaching tornadoesque speeds...it might be a nice little spot in the springtime when the weather's warmer and it's not so windy...a little sun wouldn't hurt either...



...as i headed home, the dark grey clouds decided there was just the right amount of people walking around and having fun outdoors to let 'em have it...i passed by two parks on damen driving home, and i chuckled to myself watching people scramble for cover...some of them seemed to be enjoying it...it's not often that you get warm rain in november here in chicagoland, so i can see how getting caught in the rain isn't as irksome as long as it's not 33 degrees out...but alas all this talk of warm weather will come to a sudden halt tonight, as the weather gods remember that it's november here in chicago, and temperatures plunge back to where they belong for this time of the year...there are whispers of snowfall for tomorrow...i'm glad i bought my mittens last weekend...i will be needing them for sure tomorrow...



...it's hard to believe that thanksgiving is already just around the corner...i will be spending it with teddy's family out in the burbs...it'll be a huge dinner with both grandmas and some extended family members plus the four kids (out of five) who still live in chicago plus me plus ellen (dave's girlfriend)...it'll be my first all-american thanksgiving, since year after year, i've had mainly rice & kimchee & chopchae & other korean foods with turkey & stuffing as more of an afterthought...i'm not even used to sitting around a table for thanksgiving, as in asian families the children get sent down to the basement or any other large room to accomodate us while the grown ups hog the dinner table...it'll be an interesting experience...



...tonight i am going to my friend nanette's for a pre-thanksgiving dinner...we're gonna watch the segment of the WTTW show that nanette & her wicker park project were featured on (all 3 minutes of it!)...i'm gonna make this apple cinnamon cake out of a box...like how hard could that be right? i have to chop apples though...should i peel them? i suppose if they're going in a cake i really should do w/out the peels, eh? oh well...here goes nothing...



been listening to--

end serenading--mineral

that is when he turns us golden--ester drang

helioself--papas fritas

the fawn--the sea and cake

mindsize--poor old lu