Friday
Jan242003

AAAAGGGGHHH!

AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok. i feel much better now...

i grossly underestimated the scope of my current project at work, and it's been kicking my ass all day long...oh well. that happens to me a lot lately. i wonder why?

from the cheap pile at trader joe's (they're really fuschia in color in real life)...they maybe didn't cost much...and they were probably free...but they meant more to me than an expensive bouquet of gourmet rosesi just called my ex and we had a nice chat. exchanged details about our respective lives...i don't remember the last time we talked. he seems to be happy. that's good. i'm bringing home my cat in february...i miss aberdeen, but he's really bruce's cat emotionally...he'll have to learn to like living w/ a girl...he much prefers the company of men, i think.

you know what i like? i like pumkin ice cream. and scraggly looking fuschia flowers from the cheap pile.

i will take a nap when i get home...i will take a nap when i get home...i will take a nap when i get home...

Friday
Jan242003


ok. so how was i supposed to know that massaging a back for too long can damage it? rt thought his back was doing real good after the numerous hours of massage he got the past couple days...then he calls me from work around 8:30 and tells me his back is really, really sore and that he found out from a coworker that massaging the back for over 90 minutes at a time can DAMAGE IT!! uh oh...i think i inadvertently messed up rt's back...



ticklepenny corneri went to my mom's house after work, and out of the blue, i remembered that the ticklepenny corner show @ uncommon ground was in like 45 minutes, so i rushed out of there and into the city. i had planned on taking a nap this evening, but it was not to be...that's okay though because i got to see a FULL BAND show...and they did a bunch of songs off their new album which they're currently recording in minneapolis.



the tickleit was a good show...noah, the lead singer, told me after the show that the band hadn't practiced in weeks, but they sounded great, i thought. beth & noah are going to be in nashville when i go out there for the folk alliance thingie. noah said they're gonna play like 4 times during that festival. i just bought my plane ticket for nashville today. i can only go for the weekend portion, but i'm sure i'll get to see all our people play.



is it friday yet? thank goodness...this week seemed like it was soooooo long...i need a rest...

Thursday
Jan232003


there goes the fear again...



dashboard rosei wonder what the world would be like if humanity weren't bound by fear...fear of failure...fear of being hurt...fear of abandonment...fear of intimacy...fear of turning out like our parents...fear of being alone...fear of death...



perfect love casts out all fear...that's in the bible somewhere, isn't it?



but what happens when you're afraid of love? what then?



i made a decision recently to not allow myself to be pushed away by fear...



sometimes i see people who need someone to not be afraid and to simply love them just the way they are, someone to not give up on them even when they push everyone away, someone who will keep loving, gently but firmly...



and i'm praying for the fear to be gone...from you and from me...so that we can love the way love was meant to be done...



been listening to:

nemesisters--babes in toyland

the pace is glacial--seam

control--pedro the lion

ask me tomorrow--mojave3

s/t--jimmy eat world

waters ave south--damien jurado

i break chairs--damien jurado & gathered in song

Thursday
Jan232003


this entry is rated MSG for me so groggy...



i gotta say...trader joe's knows how to par-tay like it's 1999. it was fun meeting all the people rt works w/ and talks about. now when he tells me what a crazy fool t. is, i can put a crazy face to the crazy story...



it was great getting all that free wine and food...they's got some nice CHEAP wine...five bucks goes a loooooong way in their liquor department.



they did a frozen turkey/frozen ham bowl down the frozen aisle knocking down 10 water bottle pins...there were prizes and everything. there were also knocked down displays and broken bottles by the time that game was through.



after this shindig, rt's cohorts invited us out to stroga nona or something like that, a bar on southport near grace...rt didn't want to go at first...i think he was more concerned about getting his back rub in before the evening was over...but then someone mentioned they had $2 martinis on wednesday nights, and rt changed his mind...so we all went over to stroga nona's where we took over half the bar and ordered a lot of cosmopolitans...rt had his favorite, a melon martini, which is a lot like a melon ball, me & josh's drink of choice. some of the trader joe associates got into an arm wrestling tourney. rt is the standing champ from the late shift, but he didn't participate last night, although he told me that while i was in the restroom he had beaten everyone, but i know that's a lie because there's no way in hell anyone can beat jj. rt does have very strong arms, though. maybe cuz he's a drummer.



so i think i'm going to write the head honchos at trader joes and tell them they need me to work for them as like a community arts liaison. i was thinking it would be cool if each trader joes played music by local bands, so i would gather up music from the different regions and pick out playlists for the stores. that way we'd promote local artists AND probably be able to provide some good indie music to the customers in the process. i would also develop relationships w/ small independent theatre groups and support them somehow, maybe by providing snacks for rehearsals or something. and then i'd find local visual artists whose work we could display in the stores...like my photography for instance...it's just that i noticed that a good portion of the associates at the chicago store were somehow in the arts, either music or theatre...well, we'll see...i still dream about having a job that will pay me good money to just create playlists...i make AWESOME playlists, in my opinion. ask anyone who i've made a mix cd for.

Wednesday
Jan222003


this entry is rated G for groggy...



well, i think the nap did me SOME good...sheesh...rt's on his way to pick me up for a TRADER JOE party!! woohoo!!! it's for the employees only, but rt gets to bring someone so i get to partake of the riches of that which is trader joe's...after hours...yeah!!!...free food and booze...that's what i'm talkin' about!