i don't know what's wrong with me...i was fine when i went to sleep last night and then i woke up an emotional train wreck...



i made a promise back in january that i would not let fear hold back my heart...and today i was gripped with fear...doubts...insecurities...



i broke my promise to myself, but i'm getting back on that horse...i will not go easy into the night alone, not this time...



this is a passage from The Prophet by kahlil gibran



"love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.

but if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:

to melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.

to know the pain of too much tenderness.

to be wounded by your own understanding of love;

and to bleed willingly and joyfully.

to wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;

to rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstatsy;

to return home at eventide with gratitude;

and then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips."



p.s. saw annie quick & seven head division at the lead way friday night...they RAWKED! VIIHD are so frickin' awesome...they're a great backup band for annie. they're playing again @ gunther murphy's w/ the detholz & other bands on april 24th as a part of the international pop overthrow festival.



p.p.s. went to a poetry for peace thing at the aion teahouse on division & leavitt friday night. it was really cool. there will be another one the 1st saturday of may at the same locale.

wow. entire books online. some doozies too...click here for great books online.

ok. can someone explain to me why some folks equate liberalism with communism? I'M NOT A COMMUNIST!!! but yeah, i would identify myself as a liberal. i was reading this article linked to on the drudge report about a little town in new jersey banning ribbons, and the editor of a jersey newspaper said they received more than 2000 letters regarding the story they ran about the situation, and the typical letter said something like "i see liberalism (a.k.a. Communism) is alive and well there..." like, ok, that a.k.a. communism shit is just not necessary...i mean, i'm not going around calling all conservatives fascists cuz not all of them are.



so tuesday was a beutiful day here in these parts...my friend @ work hares & i went to get some sushi and then went for a walk in that same forest preserve that andrei & allison & i did a photoshoot at last week...i found out that there's a path that goes underneath route 60 (town line road) that leads to a trail in the woods across the street...anyways, it was gorgeous...so yesterday, i made a delivery to barrington hills on my way to work, and it was even warmer...like 80 almost...and i get to work in lake forest, and hares comes by around lunch time and asks if i wanna go for a walk...i'm like yeah, it's really nice out...he asks if it's warm, and i'm like oh yeah, and he's like, really cuz my computer says it's 47 degrees outside, and i'm like 47? maybe 47 celsius...and then we get on weather.com and sure enough lake forest at that time was 45 degrees cold...i couldn't believe it...so i looked up barrington hills, and it was a whoppin 77 degrees out there still!!! like that is so weird....so we didn't go for a walk cuz i wasn't even wearing socks yesterday and i had on my sports sandals.



so rt & i watched this really funny movie...rt's been wanting me to see it for months...it's the bruce lee biography movie that was part of a special chinese connection VHS set...the star of that movie is none other than bruce li. he looks a lot like bruce lee. the acting was soooooooo bad, but the fight scenes were awesome...rt had that entire movie memorized...there were some scenes from both seattle & san francisco in that movie...i never knew that bruce lee graduated from UW in seattle. and the chinese character for bruce lee's family name is the same as for my family name. when i told that to rt, he said not to get any ideas, such as thinking my martial arts is gonna be better cuz i might be related to bruce lee...i think he's just jealous...



tomorrow night there is a poetry slam for peace at the aion tea shop (2135 w. division) 7-9pm. after that, annie quick & others are playing @ the lead way (damen & farragut just north of foster). i think that's a free show. actually, it starts @ 8:30, so i'll be there late. in time for annie though.



recent listenings:

13--blur

fetal position--bill mallonee

ancient melodies of the future--built to spill

your favorite music--clem snide

universal truths and cycles--guided by voices

a.m.--wilco

in between ep--rosie thomas

being there 1&2--wilco

calculated--heavens to betsy

about a week ago, i was doing a photoshoot on the north ave bridge from where i spied a duck couple having dinner in the river below...they were so cute swinging their asses in the air as they bobbed for their dinners...they seemed so content with their simple provisions...i watched them for a long time, getting all nostalgic...



anyways...so it sounds like my friend caleb is doing a house concert for bill mallonee this month...i really wish i could be there...you know, you think you've heard summershine a million times you won't wanna hear it again, until you pop it in the cd player, and there's nothing better for your ride up to work...yeah...i never get sick of bill's music...



i went to visit rt @ his parents' house in the far NW burbs last night...poor thing looked like death warmed over still...being sick sucks...



been listening to:

summershine--vigilantes of love

to the roof of the sky--VoL

murmur--r.e.m.

s/t--le tigre

start here--the gloria record

s/t ep--the gloria record

reading writing and arithmetic--the sundays

loveless--my bloody valentine

substance disc 1--new order

s/t--the pixies

keep it like a secret--built to spill

XO--elliott smith

i break chairs--damien jurado & gathered in song

the photo album--death cab for cutie

murray street--sonic youth

fyi, all is ok...



last night i went to see the detholz. you can see photos here. awesome as expected! those boys are so RAWK...



i was gonna go see pinback tonight but the premier episode of black sash was on the WB tonight...yeah, yeah, i know...skipping a show for TV? like since when does sarah watch TV? well, since she realized they have shows like the very best of the world's worst drivers2. oh and black sash...it's a new kung fu show w/ russell wong. the acting was so so and the writing was mediocre but there were some fight scenes, which is all i was after...kung fu is so beautiful...and it takes place in san francisco, which is where bruce lee had his martial arts school. bruce lee is THE master. no question about that.



today's music: rt's welcome home mix & some vigilantes of looooooooove, yeah.