to pitchfork or not to pitchfork...

...that is the question indeed...what i'm referring to, of course, is this weekend's big shabang of indie rock 'n' roll love fest, the pitchfork music festival. as i mentioned, i already bought my tickets and was planning on going...but a few days ago, i started having 2nd thoughts...mainly, i was worried about my lactation output levels, and the thought of being away from cadence for two days (excluding night times, when she hardly nurses anyways) without having access to pumping facilities...well, this is something that only a mother who greatly values her lacation abilities would understand...a mother whose toddler refuses to drink any form of milk--not expensive organic forumla, not goats milk, not whole milk, not even CHOCOLATE milk--other than the one specially formulated for her by God...a toddler who is in the 77th percentile for height, 24th percentile for weight, and 11th percentile for head size (we need to get some meat on them long bones, and good god i hope all that head is brain matter!)...

...and you know, it not just about the milk...nursing is a very special bonding experience between cadence and me...i work most days away from home, and that is the first thing she asks for when i walk in the door...i mean, what better way to get reacquainted than to be attached to one another in such a quiet, nurturing pose for a few minutes? i admit there are days when i wish we'd just be done with the whole weaning thing, but i know deep inside i don't mean it. someday, she will wean on her own.

...*sigh*...don't get me wrong...i will miss my friends caleb and kathy. i will miss the music. (john darnielle, i will hopefully see you at the empty bottle in september.) oh well. at least i got to sell my tickets to our dear friend phil's girlfriend from portland, OR, who is probably more worthy than i to gain entrance to this festival. i'm so out of the whole music scene anyway.

oh well. at least i get to partake of the monthly grandma day.