zzzzzzzzzz...

"look! i got a ponytail just like mommy's!"

it’s been a week of catching up on sleep in our household…for a number of nights until monday night, cadence was waking up at 3:14 am too fussy to go back to sleep right away…the worst was on sunday night…well, it was actually monday by then…she woke up around 3 and wanted to play until 5:30 am…this was after refusing to go to bed until around 11pm…i normally wake up around 5:45 to catch my train to work, so by 5 am, i knew i was in trouble…i called my boss and left her a voice mail that i’d be taking a vacation day on monday because i’d be useless at work…i’m usually pretty stingy about using vacation days, but i knew my week would be totally screwed if i didn’t get some sleep…

you know, some babies are great sleepers, either because they naturally like to sleep or because their parents trained them to…cadence is not one of those babies…she’s a fair sleeper at best…on a good night she’ll go to bed around 9pm, stir a couple times during the night to be fed, but barely enough to wake herself or me for more than 15 seconds, and then wake up happily babbling around 6am…i know that it may surprise people that i am still nursing her during the night, but i think those feeding sessions are important to her physical and emotional health, esp. because i’m gone for so long during most days…i see the nighttime as my time to parent, and although that may sound insane for someone who works full-time during the day, it’s usually not that bad…maybe a few seconds of holding her a little closer, whispering in her ear to soothe her, stroking her forehead, patting her back, giving her my boob, whatever to get her back to sleep…all of this i can usually do while still lying down…

but you know what? as much as i crave sleep sometimes (and i just let out a big yawn as i typed that!), i feel so lucky and blessed to have cadence as our daughter…i actually like it that she is a persistent and strong-willed child…i may eat my words someday, but for now, i try to imagine that given abundant love and encouragement and appropriate boundaries, she will grow up to be someone who is persistent and strong-willed for those who’ve given up and had their wills broken, that she will fight relentlessly for the weak and helpless…i don’t dream about my daughter becoming a doctor or a lawyer or a professor…i don’t want her to be defined by the occupation she chooses in this life…what i dream is that no matter what she chooses to earn a living, that she will always be motivated by love and compassion for humanity…

i know that this means that ted and i will have to model love and compassion in our daily lives…and THAT is something we really need to think about…

in other news, my childhood chum ruthy just announced her engagement! she’ll be getting married in march in the south bay area where she currently lives, and i am so happy for her! she’s been in town this week and visited us yesterday…it sounds like her fiance michael is a really awesome guy, and i can’t wait to meet him…ruthy became my first friend when my family moved to the u.s….we were in the same class from 2nd through 7th grades and spent almost everyday together for a number of years…i still remember those days when we’d spend the afternoon watching the brady bunch or playing double dutch or badminton or whiffle ball…and there was that magical summer of ’84 when the cubs were winning left and right…i was supposed to be practicing piano at ruthy’s house everyday, but instead we watched every cubs game on WGN…*sigh*...jody davis…*sigh*…

anywho…